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Thread: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

  1. #1
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Yesterday I was rewiring a Nashville-style Telecaster. All went to plan until I tried it out. Plugged the cord into the guitar, fired up the power to the rack and hit the tuner. NADA, zip, bupkis.

    "Interesting" I thought to myself. Pull it apart. Tug on all the solder joints, pull out the meter everything is Jake. Since the 5 way was a recycle I was using the previously unused side. I figured maybe the switch was wonky and rather than being binned when it was removed I saved it. I always keep a couple switches on-hand since that's basically the only part of a Strat that usually breaks. I actually keep one in my road case with soldering iron.

    So, I replace the switch, check the guitar with a meter and all is cool. Go back and plug it into the preamps. Still nothing. WTF?

    So I decided to put the meter on the amp side off the cord, and it's then I realized it wasn't plugged into the rack.

    D'oh!

    Chuck
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

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    Forum Member phantomman's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield.

    BT, DT, GTTS

    "When injustice becomes law then rebellion becomes duty."

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    Forum Member Michael Smith's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Consider it good soldering practice. You can never get enough!
    "When You're Riding Down the Highway at Night, And You're Feeling that Wild Turkey's Bite" ZZ Top

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    Forum Member S. Cane's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Quote Originally Posted by phantomman View Post
    Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield.

    BT, DT, GTTS


    +1

  5. #5
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Smith View Post
    Consider it good soldering practice. You can never get enough!
    While I was in college I had a part-time job soldering boards. Doing cuts, jumps, through hole, etc., so wiring a guitar is pretty simple.
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

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    Forum Member OldStrummer's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Angler View Post

    So I decided to put the meter on the amp side off the cord, and it's then I realized it wasn't plugged into the rack.

    D'oh!
    C'mon, who hasn't done this at least once?
    Striving to be ordinary

    Proud to be a TFF Dumbass!

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    Forum Member gibsonjunkie's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    The first time I played in one of TeleBob's infamous jams I was really nervous so I was playing with the volume turned way down...... it was about a half-hour before I realized the amp I was playing through was in standby mode...
    "We catched fish and talked, and we took a swim now and then to keep off sleepiness." Mark Twain

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    Forum Member DanTheBluesMan's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Quote Originally Posted by gibsonjunkie View Post
    The first time I played in one of TeleBob's infamous jams I was really nervous so I was playing with the volume turned way down...... it was about a half-hour before I realized the amp I was playing through was in standby mode...
    "Live and learn and flip the burns"

  9. #9
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Quote Originally Posted by gibsonjunkie View Post
    The first time I played in one of TeleBob's infamous jams I was really nervous so I was playing with the volume turned way down...... it was about a half-hour before I realized the amp I was playing through was in standby mode...
    "infamous" is kind. I even remember nudity and "fajg - it - ta's".

    Chuck
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

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    Forum Member gibsonjunkie's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Angler View Post
    "infamous" is kind. I even remember nudity and "fajg - it - ta's".

    Chuck
    That night when Bob's band played at the strip joint was legendary! Laughed so hard that night!
    "We catched fish and talked, and we took a swim now and then to keep off sleepiness." Mark Twain

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    Forum Member Tele-Bob's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Angler View Post
    "infamous" is kind. I even remember nudity and "fajg - it - ta's".

    Chuck

    Sounds more like you guys are talkin' vagitas here!
    If you're bored, you're not groovin'.

  12. #12
    Forum Member Tele-Bob's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    So it's not guitar related, but truly a work of Dumb-Assery at it's finest.

    Here I am, 18 years old driving a Vega with no reverse. The tranny was broken and needed replacement.
    I bought another Vega for $50, towed it to my house, and proceeded to perform the surgery.
    Working alone in the driveway, I pulled out the one set of cheapo, pressed steel ramps I had borrowed and removed both transmissions. Simple enough.
    So I struggle to get the donor tranny onto a cheap scissor jack, made for changing a flat tire roadside, started jacking it up into place.
    Then I finger tightened all the bolts around the tranny mount. All is going well.
    As I reached for the rachet to tighten the bolts, I had to shove this big, rusty donut looking thing out of the way. Then it downed on me in one crushing blow.
    I FORGOT TO BUT THE TORQUE CONVERTOR BACK IN!!!
    Had to remove the tranny, (alone) and installl the torque convertor.
    What a dum ass! I'm glad Red Forman wasn't there to further humiliate me!
    If you're bored, you're not groovin'.

  13. #13
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    A Vega? Wow, that's a trip down memory lane.
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

  14. #14
    Forum Member phantomman's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Angler View Post
    A Vega? Wow, that's a trip down memory lane.
    +1!

    The first car I bought my wife was a '75 Vega......140 cube "Iron Duke", THM350 tranny, and A/C. It was a slug of course but it was *her* slug and she loved that little turd, right up to the moment we traded it in on her '73 L-82 Stingray coupe. She went from rags to riches in less than three years!
    "When injustice becomes law then rebellion becomes duty."

  15. #15
    Forum Member OldStrummer's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Quote Originally Posted by phantomman View Post
    +1!

    The first car I bought my wife was a '75 Vega......140 cube "Iron Duke", THM350 tranny, and A/C. It was a slug of course but it was *her* slug and she loved that little turd, right up to the moment we traded it in on her '73 L-82 Stingray coupe. She went from rags to riches in less than three years!
    The first new car I owned was a '72 Vega GT hatchback. I was in college overseas, bound for the States to finish my education and ordered it through the military PX system for delivery. When I arrived, the "racing stripe" was not the color I chose (I think only black or white were offered; how could they mess that up?) but it was still nice. Kind of a periwinkle blue, equipped with the RPO L11 2-bbl 140 engine and F41 handling package.

    I never experienced the problems that ultimately doomed the car. Some referred to it as a "narrow Camaro," and since I was a young, starving college student, was a step up from the "econo-cars" that were the rage those days. I got married in 1973, and ultimately traded it in on a larger, more family-oriented Malibu.
    Striving to be ordinary

    Proud to be a TFF Dumbass!

  16. #16
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    The Vega was not without its problems, but it's legacy in hot rodding is that it's steering box lives on as standard equipment for many modern builds.
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    I bought one with a dead Cosworth engine. Sold the engine for more than I had in the car, and planned on a joint hot rod build with a friend, but the Carter economy forced him to boom out for work. A couple years later a body shop took it in trade for some work I needed on a wrecked Ski Nautique.

  18. #18
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Cool Bil, tell me about your Nautique. Some would say I'm kind of an aficionado, lol!
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

  19. #19
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    It was a '72 that fell off it's trailer down on the interstate during a wreck. I picked it up cheap from the wrecker in Lordsburg. His story was it belonged to a professional skier that was a stuntman for Disney. The boat was a non standard Gold Metallic which was the color of his sponsor. He mostly used it in salt water, and as well as the engine upgrade, (300HP 350), it had a closed cooling system with anti-freeze. 13 pitch prop, top speed a little over 45. I would use about 40 gal. of fuel a day when we camped with friends.
    My wife and our girls all learned to ski behind it, and when we decided to hot dog once, I had 5 ropes out while skiing to "no wake" at the marina, when we got to the dock we got an ovation! The girls got older, and we didn't spend as much time at the lake, so I sold it to a friend who was a "water cop" at the Butte.

  20. #20
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Cool story Bill. A lot of people don't know it but Correct Craft is the oldest boat builder in the US. Last time I was at the factory they were showing me the investments they have made. Pretty obsessed with quality.

    Never found a Nautique owner who didn't have fond memories of the boat. What's funny now is that a new wakeboard Nautique can run north of $250,000 and there's a waiting list to get one. That's like $10,000 per foot for a mass-produced boat. I remember when the first one I saw over $100,000 arrived and I thought it was crazy, lol! They even have an electric power option now.

    Chuck
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Being a prop boat with a rudder, you could almost parallel park the thing, more than once I backed up to the fuel dock while jet boats were waiting for a drive through.

  22. #22
    Forum Member Tele-Bob's Avatar
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    Re: Dumb-Assery Raised to an Artform

    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Angler View Post
    They even have an electric power option now.

    Chuck
    Bah! Electric Boat Company in Groton Connecticut has been doing that for several decades. But they just can't seem to make an affordable nuclear reactor for consumer use...
    If you're bored, you're not groovin'.

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