Last edited by boobtube21; 01-27-2012 at 09:39 PM.
My assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people's ideas and then permanently erase them from the subject's memory.
Why didn't I think of that?
VM
If aliens listened to our current top 40, they'd think that the entire planet was populated by sexually ambivalent robots with ethnic insecurity.
You might've heard this pretty famous singer before... or maybe not.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=PW6e2tDIWW4
thats just SUPERB!!!!Originally Posted by the_best_of_fools
You might've heard this pretty famous singer before... or maybe not.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=PW6e2tDIWW4im lookin for a rifle!!
A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door.
He opens it to find two sheriff's deputies there. He asks if there is a problem.
One of the deputies asks if he is married.. He says, "Yes, I am."
The deputy then asks if he could see a picture of the man's wife.
The guy says, "Sure," and gets a photo to show them.
The deputy says, "I'm sorry, sir. But it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
The guy replies, "I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook.
do I look like I know what I'm doing?
VM
If aliens listened to our current top 40, they'd think that the entire planet was populated by sexually ambivalent robots with ethnic insecurity.
Wait for it...
It was the lousiest Flash Mob ever. Just my family and friends in my living room telling me I should stop drinking.
VM
If aliens listened to our current top 40, they'd think that the entire planet was populated by sexually ambivalent robots with ethnic insecurity.
This is a picture my friend took of his moving truck in San Francisco earlier this year. They always get hassled parking in the street so he crammed it in this alleyway. Can't believe he actually went for it but if it fits, it fits!
HAHAHA!!! Sorry, this is just too crazy!
http://www.incrediblethings.com/home...-shake-weight/
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 27 years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER Carla & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Her letter:
Dear Ex -Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for 27 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much to try to drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife,
Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
do I look like I know what I'm doing?
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