HOW CAN YOU TELL IF A DRUMMER IS AT THE DOOR ?
The knocking speeds up
WHAT DO YOU CALL A DRUMMER THAT BREAKS UP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND ?
Homeless
WHATS THE LAST THING A DRUMMER EVER SAYS IN A BAND ?
"Hey guys ... why don't we try one of my songs ?"
HOW MANY DRUMMERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
Just one, so long as the roadie gets the ladder, sets it up and puts the bulb in the socket for him.
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A DRUMMER AND A DRUM-MACHINE ?
You only have to punch the instructions into a drum-machine once.
WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE WHO HANGS AROUND WITH MUSICIANS ?
A bass player.
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU PLAY COUNTRY & WESTERN MUSIC BACKWARDS ?
You sober up, your wife comes home, and your dog comes back to life.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF THERE IS A HEAVY ROCK SINGER AT THE DOOR ?
He doesn't know when to come in, and can`t find the key.
HOW DO YOU GET A HEAVY ROCK GUITAR PLAYER TO STOP PLAYING ?
Put some sheet music in front of him.
HOW CAN YOU TELL IF YOUR ROADIE IS DEAD ?
The doughnut falls out of his hand.
WHY IS A GRAND PIANO BETTER THAN A SYNTHESIZER ?
It makes more noise when you throw it off a hotel balcony.
HOW DO YOU TURN A DUCK INTO A SOUL SINGER ?
Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers.
HAVE YOU HEARD THAT MEATLOAF HAS CHANGED HIS NAME ?
He's now, "The Artist formerly known as Mince"
WHATS THE DEFINITION OF MIDDLE-AGE ?
When all the CD`s you want to buy are on budget labels.
WHO IS THE WORLDS GREATEST OPTIMIST ?
A banjo player with a pager.