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Thread: Peyton Place

  1. #1
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Peyton Place

    Okay, so last night I go do a few sets with a strictly "Fun Bar Band" I've played with, some, 'cause their lead singer/keyboard player is sick. Bumped into two of the 3 shit-kickin' Semi Accoustic gize I played with last year (stand-up bass, rhythm guitar both excellent in the harmonies vocally) and they said they want me to play with them. These are the ones I played with last year until their women asked if they'd dump me. Guess they have a change of heart.

    Unfortunately, Kim, the wonderful male singer and mando/fiddle/ hot flat-picker who was the HEART of the group isn't allowed to come out and play at all anymore, it seems. So wrong. He works his day-job hard and well. Brings home the bacon. Adores his wife and child. Gives them everything. I see trouble comin' in their back door. He's just incredibly pussy-whipped, I fear.

    I don't know if I've got the ability to carry all the leads and LEADS. Maybe we'll work some things up and try it. Should we pick up a lead player or mando/fiddler? Would this be betraying Kim? It feels like it.
    Shine your light.

  2. #2
    Forum Member buzztone's Avatar
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    Betrayal? He's not there of his own volition right? Not allowed doesn't mean anything except he's respecting his wife's wishes correct? Just do what you need to do. ;)

  3. #3
    Forum Member music-n-motorcycle's Avatar
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    Being pussy whipped is a choice. He wasn't born that way.

    If he is not there, then the music has to be made without him.
    4:20, my favorite time of day.

  4. #4
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    Re: Peyton Place

    Originally posted by Annie D.
    I don't know if I've got the ability to carry all the leads and LEADS. Maybe we'll work some things up and try it. Should we pick up a lead player or mando/fiddler? Would this be betraying Kim? It feels like it.
    You would not be betraying Kim. He has made his choices. being whipped is a choice, ceasing to play music is a choice. You must move on.

    Find the players you need to complete the band and go. Kim had his shot, made his choices. he's not a "working" musician any more. That has nothing to do with you.

  5. #5
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    I agree with the rest of the guys on this one.




    (For once)

  6. #6
    Forum Member NeoFauve's Avatar
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    I agree too.

    Isn't allowed? Sheesh.
    The ARE certain, often false, assumptions one might make about a fella named Kim. What the hell were his parents thinking?
    "Well, I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused..."
    Elvis Costello

  7. #7
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    One of my closest friends from college "came up" with me in the conservatory of music and was an amazing bass player. He had this fantastic mid-60's Jazz Bass, and for his graduation, his parents bought him a Padulla fretless 5-string. I was looking forward to many years of he and I playing together, but instead, he got married to his college sweetheart the summer after graduation.

    Even though she'd been friends with all of us all through school and knew how much music meant to him, once they got married she said, "Um, surely you don't plan to keep doing your silly little music hobby now, right?"

    I was 10 times more dumbfounded when he agreed.

    We used to still hang out occasionally at their house for the next year or two, but I just got so depressed at seeing those two beautiful instruments propped up against his dust-covered amp in their basement that I just couldn't deal with him (and her) anymore.

    I just don't get that shit.

  8. #8
    Forum Member gibsonjunkie's Avatar
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    If he's willing to let her do that, you can't stop it. Because of the B.S. of putting up with whining from wife #1, I stopped playing for years. Then when I started again, and said I was looking to find some people to play with she called me a Rock and Roll wanna-be. I moved out three months later.

    :whip

    Still haven't found any kindred musical spirits, but I smile a lot more - plus wife number two buys me guitars!
    Last edited by gibsonjunkie; 12-15-2003 at 05:02 PM.
    "We catched fish and talked, and we took a swim now and then to keep off sleepiness." Mark Twain

  9. #9
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Hmmmmm. I have a great deal of sympathy for him, as I was in the same boat for many years.

    Thanks for letting me bounce this off of you all and double thanks for the thoughts on the matter.

    We'll see what happens. It kind of depends on how often they want to play. A couple of gigs a months is fine by me. We'll do some exploring and see what arises.

    It's hard to release my desire to play music with him, but one must do what is required and all that rot.

    I'd like to take great songs I know and punch 'em up enough for dancing and robust celebration...been playin' the bluz too much.

    "I went down to the Crossroads, fell down on my knees,
    yes I did"
    Shine your light.

  10. #10
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    So, why do women (and I guess men) do that. On the one hand, My wife is very proud of how well I play. A couple of her friends are obviously envious. Yet she stilll sometimes complains about the two or three Saturday nights per month. that I spend on a gig. Seems to depend on her mood or "time of the month." It's not as if we do anything other than normal if I stay home. I don't get all upset when she has a month-end or year-end close and has to put in 12-14 hour days.
    Why do these spouses go after one of the few things in life that you enjoy doing for yourself?
    Call it pussy whipped if you like, women can exert a lot of pressure. I know a few guys who went through hell to get away from a domineering bitch. They were accused of everything from non-support, to child abuse. Took them years to regain a decent fifnancial situation and clear their reputations. A friend lost custody of his kids. She dumped them on him after she remarried and the new hubby couldn't be bothered. He was housing, feeding, clothing etc. and still had to pay her child support for three years plus.

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    Lived it!

    Originally posted by shunka
    So, why do women (and I guess men) do that. On the one hand, My wife is very proud of how well I play. A couple of her friends are obviously envious. Yet she stilll sometimes complains about the two or three Saturday nights per month. that I spend on a gig. Seems to depend on her mood or "time of the month." It's not as if we do anything other than normal if I stay home. I don't get all upset when she has a month-end or year-end close and has to put in 12-14 hour days.
    Why do these spouses go after one of the few things in life that you enjoy doing for yourself?
    Call it pussy whipped if you like, women can exert a lot of pressure. I know a few guys who went through hell to get away from a domineering bitch. They were accused of everything from non-support, to child abuse. Took them years to regain a decent fifnancial situation and clear their reputations. A friend lost custody of his kids. She dumped them on him after she remarried and the new hubby couldn't be bothered. He was housing, feeding, clothing etc. and still had to pay her child support for three years plus.

    I have been married for 26 glorious years. Been rocking for 32. They never change dude! The best that you can hope for is to fake them out. Make them think that they have a part, but turn the Mic off! I don't know all your personal particulars but I d,d,d,d,do know that it worked. Use a little stealth and include her(or him).
    Call it pussy whipped if you dare but they do own the gold mine!

    Last edited by Grog; 12-31-2003 at 05:03 PM.

  12. #12
    Old Tele man
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    re: "...every coin has two sides..."

    man sez: "Women, you can't live WITH them and you can't LIVE without them!"

    woman sez: "Men!"

  13. #13
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    You know that's the peculiar part. I've tried to involve my wife but she loses interest after a bit. She's the same in her hobbies. Gets the bug, plays with it for a while then forgets about it.
    Don't think she uderstands at all what drives me or musicians in general and certainly doesn't understand what keeps me going after 42 years 'in the biz."

  14. #14
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Soooo. Kim decides he wants to play the New Year's Eve thing and they dropped me like a hot potato. *ouch!* Think I'll move on.

  15. #15
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    That's really bullshit, Annie. Very sorry that happened.

    As you say, movin' on is definitely in order. It's their loss, mi amiga.

  16. #16
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    BTW - you ARE one *hot* potato . . .

  17. #17
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Thanks, Sac. He's very dynamic, talented, charismatic, etc. but I think a commitment is a commitment. No more playing with The Flake Boys.

    "But it's all right 'cause it's midnight and I got two more bottles of wine..."
    Last edited by Annie D.; 01-07-2004 at 06:44 AM.

  18. #18
    Forum Member doc540's Avatar
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    I trust your judgement on this one, Annie, and support you 100% no matter what way you choose to go.

    (how's that for pussy-whippedspeak?)

    Ayatollah of Dumbassollah

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  19. #19
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

  20. #20
    Forum Member CA Bobcat's Avatar
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    I've been married 3 times now (finally found a keeper).

    Wife 1 came from a large family that all sang. Soon after meeting her she joined my folk group. Never complained about my music.

    Wife 2 couldn't carry a tune in bucket but loved my music. She actually showed up at #3s 50th B'day at the local pub (our band played). Never complained about my music.

    Wife 3 (current) is our female vocalist. Only complains that I don't practice enough.

    Object of the story: Find a spouse that can share your musical experience preferably one with some talent.
    Good Example: Mrs. M-N-M.
    If you can't laugh at yourself, who can?

  21. #21
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Find a spouse that can share your musical experience preferably one with some talent.
    cue: "That'll Be The Day"

    I'm glad you've found a good one, Bob. Didn't mean to laugh so hard *smooch!*

    Ah, yes, Leslie of the velvet vibrato...hope she got over her "crud". She was pretty sick last time I harassed her. AND one very lovely lady to boot.

  22. #22
    Forum Member RCinMempho's Avatar
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    It's not as if we do anything other than normal if I stay home.
    Playing out is not your problem. Read the above sentence repeatedly until you get it. Fix that problem, and your playing out nights will go much more peacefully.
    Nothing beats an RC and a MoonPie!

  23. #23
    ZoneFiend photoweborama's Avatar
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    Well here is my twist.

    My wife knows nothing about music or guitars, (but enjoyed the Mexico factory). I can remix a song, making radical changes and she says it sounds exactly the same.

    She has no interest in music at all.

    But she insists I play. She bought me a Strat and a Tele and does not care about any music stuff I buy if we can afford it.

    At any kind of gig or jam, she insists I go as long as she does not have to go also. She just has not interest in it.

    Why, you may ask? She says to the effect that I need a hobby that my creative side can be completely absorbed in. She says I need that outlet.

    She says if I don't do the music thing; I'm an emotional wreck because I'm being restrained from what I love to do. I then become a pain in the neck around the house. Irritated all the time, and the overall demeanor of the family are more upbeat when I can play my music.

    That's also why when we went on that last cruise, she encouraged me to take the Strat with me.

    By the way, go to my web site at the button below and check out our Cruise 2003 photos.
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  24. #24
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    photo, puddin': You are very lucky! I hope you know how rare and precious that is. (bet you do, actually)

    Too many people are "latched-onto" by another who wants to stifle, change and constrain them.

    If you let them, they will. (i did)

    Fall down on your knees "in gratitude", each and every day. It is VERY rare! You are incredibly blessed. Make a joyful noise!

    We are happy for yew!!!! Aren't we boyz?!?!?!!! (okay, and maybe a tad jealous).

    Love, Stacy's Mom

  25. #25
    Forum Member CA Bobcat's Avatar
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    Annie, she's much better. They down Thursday and her and Petra were working harmonies out. God they've got a great blend.
    If you can't laugh at yourself, who can?

  26. #26
    ZoneFiend photoweborama's Avatar
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    Thanks Annie. I'm just lucky, I guess...

    Well, I have to admit; she did get a little upset with me today when I said I was going to buy an Epiphone SG G-400... I decided to back down on that one. For now....

    You got it going on, Annie!
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