For some time, a decade or longer, I've been getting more and more burned out. I've been teaching for thirty years. I've had problems with anxiety and depression for decades, but in this case, my high anxiety is causing slight depression. The anxiety is the thing I find it hard to live with. I meditate now, but the stress of my job--a new VP who dislikes me and is making it hard on me--keeps me on panic mode continuously. The job is detrimental to my health. I've known for some time that the job is a trigger for my anxiety. In short, I'm exhausted and don't want to play the game anymore.

After talking to my best friends and girlfriend about it, I've come to a decision: I'm retiring from teaching, and I'm going to teach my last classes in December.

Of course I'm stepping into the unknown. I'm going to take a couple of months to get my mental health in order--I do see a shrink, but medication can only work so far. Then I'm going to find a job with less pressure. I like working in teams (like bands) rather than shutting myself away in an office. It's all scary but exciting.

I needed to vent. Thank you for reading.

BTW, I am trying meditation and mindfulness. I'll get over this awful time.