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Thread: When Did You Give Up or Alter the Dream?

  1. #1
    Forum Member ch willie's Avatar
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    When Did You Give Up or Alter the Dream?

    I'm pretty certain I'm not alone here. I'll preface with this: I'm really glad I never got famous. I couldn't have stood the pressure and probably would have become Syd Barrett and not in the creative way. My anxiety just wouldn't allow it.

    When I was in my teens and early 20s, I thought that I wanted to be in a famous band. I wanted to write the songs with them or alone, but I wanted us to make it. I both believed we would and we wouldn't. It wasn't really the fame that attracted me; it was the possibility of owning a studio and writing and recording, taking the songs live afterwards.

    But at 22, I suddenly had a paralyzing case of anxiety and depression. It devastated me for months, and I realized that part of it came from all the pressure I was under to make it. From then on, I vowed that I never wanted fame.

    My dream was vague and a utopian place. I didn't give up the dream as much as I altered it to what I could live best with.

    I still have hopes, but my hope is to write some more good songs, record them, and play them to a few small audiences--for fun, for fulfillment, but not for the glory. If two people tell me they enjoy my music, that's more than good enough for me.

    Did you once have the dream? Maybe you've played original songs to great acclaim and fame and still do. Or maybe you altered the dream, or you still hang on to it. This post isn't just an excuse for me to talk about myself--I'd really love to know your stories.
    If we'd known we were going to be the Beatles, we'd have tried harder.--George Harrison

  2. #2
    Forum Member DanTheBluesMan's Avatar
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    Re: When Did You Give Up or Alter the Dream?

    it was easy as fishing to be a musician
    making sounds funky or mellow

    mostly i wanted the chance to make other people feel like music made me feel. I wasn't interested in fame in the celebrity sense but I was hoping to leave something behind that people would enjoy long after I was gone. And yeah, the sex and drugs and rock and roll weren't exactly deterring me from that angle, either.

    for me the dream became altered on that hot Thursday when that damn Karmen Ghia turned in front of my motorcycle without using their turn signal. To be fair, my mind was probably on my gig that night, it was going to be the first time I ever got paid to play the guitar. The broken third and fourth metacarpals put the kabosh on that night and the sell off of my band gear to pay medical bills left me broke, broken and bitter. The next 5 years were not great and that was a major understatement.

    I've got something percolating that I know has to be expressed somehow. It is largely why I'm pursuing recording because I need to capture this elusive glimpse into the ether. I'm not gifted with total recall like some people. I'll play stuff and people will say "Wow, that was cool. What was it?" and I can't tell them because I don't know what I just did.
    "Live and learn and flip the burns"

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    Forum Member OldStrummer's Avatar
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    Re: When Did You Give Up or Alter the Dream?

    It's not just music. For me, when I was younger I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to be the best. I also wanted to be the first picked for kickball. Despite the fact that I was a thin, smallish kid, I wanted to be the home run crusher, the guy the girls all wanted, the hero.

    Truth eventually settled in. It took many years, some of which were not me at my best. I'd say my "moment of clarity" came when I was about 39. Call it a mid-life crisis, if you will. But from that moment forward, I have lived my life to the following motto: Strive to be Ordinary.

    It's made a world of difference, and I'm a much happier man because of it.

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    Forum Member gibsonjunkie's Avatar
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    Re: When Did You Give Up or Alter the Dream?

    Back in 1974 I was a senior in college. I was playing in a duo - with one of the best guitarists I've ever known. We did my originals and played quite a bit on campus. One of my roommates had an uncle who was business manager for Blue Oyster Cult and we gave him a demo tape. He told us that if we wanted to pretty much give everything up and go on the road we might get somewhere. As I was getting married right after graduation it was basically - get married or go on the road. I got married. I've got two great kids who never would have been if I had taken the other road, so I don't regret anything; but after working with Charlie Karp on my music recently, I realize that I had spent the last 40 years playing music, that would have been a good thing, too.
    "We catched fish and talked, and we took a swim now and then to keep off sleepiness." Mark Twain

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    Forum Member Don's Avatar
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    Re: When Did You Give Up or Alter the Dream?

    As I said in another thread, I only ever wanted to play the blues with my friends. I went into my first guitar lesson at 15 years old knowing that. I wasn't impressed with my guitar teacher's tales of a close brush with fame and hundreds of wedding gigs. I disregarded his advice that I'd never make any money. That hasn't changed.

    I get a kick out of the 50-60 year old guys who I play with who are either playing out a rock star fantasy, think they're cool for being in a band, still think they're going to make it big or even think they're going to make real money at it.

    Super fun gigs come and go because someone in the band wants to be paid more than the organizers offer. I just want to have some fun.

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    Re: When Did You Give Up or Alter the Dream?

    Me, I just wanted to make a decent living and not be homeless. Seriously. As a 19 and 20 year old that's what I wanted because it was hell finding a job with security to get your foot in the door. So I did 10 years in the military and at the same time went to college and explored my options and secure careers. From there I discovered that I could work, have a career and retire and 52 if I stayed the course and then basically chill and play guitar. It meant not doing something I loved. It meant doing something I could put up with and be good at so I could reach a goal and that's what I chose. My brothers are all at least 15 years older than me and it boiled down to something one of them said to me when I was about 13. That was to pay attention and work towards the goal of retiring at 55. Didn't mean being rich, just that you could maintain you place in life and do enjoyable things.

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    Re: When Did You Give Up or Alter the Dream?

    It Came about for me with a Bang. DISCO

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    Forum Member ch willie's Avatar
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    Re: When Did You Give Up or Alter the Dream?

    Quote Originally Posted by jaxjaxon View Post
    It Came about for me with a Bang. DISCO
    True enough. For me, the axe fell when groups like Culture Club and Howard Jones filled the airwaves with garbage songs and garbage productions. We played in Nashville, and back then, a rock band had little chance for success--everything was country and pretentious new wave/ suburban punk.
    If we'd known we were going to be the Beatles, we'd have tried harder.--George Harrison

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    Re: When Did You Give Up or Alter the Dream?

    Lived it.

    Then I had other dreams.

    Some I've lived and some I'm still working on.

    God smiles on me a lot I guess.

    But maybe my dreams are more practical than others?

    Not sure.

    Or maybe I just forgot what they were...

  10. #10
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: When Did You Give Up or Alter the Dream?

    Well, calling Culture Club garbage is, I think, a bit severe. I always thought they were immensely talented and made music that made a whole lot of people happy. IMHO, writing good power-pop is about as difficult as it gets in the music biz. Had Boy George not had to wrestle with addiction I suspect they would have had quite a run.

    One thing I've learned over decades doing this - to be successful you need to play music the public wants to hear - not just what you like. Also, playing originals is 10X the work of playing covers.

    I don't think most give up the dream, they simply have a moment of clarity of actually how much work, dedication, sacrifice and just plain dumb luck it really takes to even be a great local band. They aren't motivated enough to put forth the effort required.

    Living the dream starts with respecting the work of others. Once you learn to respect those that have been successful, you have the key to your own success. Then the hard part - asking yourself what things about yourself are holding you back from success and then either be willing to make changes or accept things the way they are.

    Chuck
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

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