I'm pretty certain I'm not alone here. I'll preface with this: I'm really glad I never got famous. I couldn't have stood the pressure and probably would have become Syd Barrett and not in the creative way. My anxiety just wouldn't allow it.
When I was in my teens and early 20s, I thought that I wanted to be in a famous band. I wanted to write the songs with them or alone, but I wanted us to make it. I both believed we would and we wouldn't. It wasn't really the fame that attracted me; it was the possibility of owning a studio and writing and recording, taking the songs live afterwards.
But at 22, I suddenly had a paralyzing case of anxiety and depression. It devastated me for months, and I realized that part of it came from all the pressure I was under to make it. From then on, I vowed that I never wanted fame.
My dream was vague and a utopian place. I didn't give up the dream as much as I altered it to what I could live best with.
I still have hopes, but my hope is to write some more good songs, record them, and play them to a few small audiences--for fun, for fulfillment, but not for the glory. If two people tell me they enjoy my music, that's more than good enough for me.
Did you once have the dream? Maybe you've played original songs to great acclaim and fame and still do. Or maybe you altered the dream, or you still hang on to it. This post isn't just an excuse for me to talk about myself--I'd really love to know your stories.