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Thread: Pilots Vs Maintenance Engineers

  1. #1
    Forum Member S. Cane's Avatar
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    Pilots Vs Maintenance Engineers

    After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.



    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.


    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.


    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.


    P: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
    S: #2 Propeller seepage normal – #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage


    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.


    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That’s what they’re for


    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you’re right.


    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics


    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.


    And the best one for last.


    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.


    P.S. all this is reported as true

  2. #2
    Forum Member CoyotesGator's Avatar
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    Re: Pilots Vs Maintenance Engineers

    What happend?
    Who let the magic smoke out?

  3. #3
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: Pilots Vs Maintenance Engineers

    Actually, we called them "Squawk Sheets".
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

  4. #4
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    Re: Pilots Vs Maintenance Engineers

    Similar daily driver inspection at a mine where I worked. One evening I got a complaint "needs chocks", I noted that there was a new set in the bed, so I asked the boss to call the driver. He came by the shop, and said, " I tole you and tole you this truck needs chocks, but nobody does nothing!" I pointed to the bed, he started bouncing the truck and said "not chocks, chocks man, it needs chocks!"
    I replaced the shocks, and all was well.

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