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Thread: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

  1. #1
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Top indicators this guitar player who's auditioning might not work out:

    - Before tuning up, pulls out a guitar stand and lays a towel over it before putting his Mexican Strat on it.

    - Brings own guitar, amp, and effects, and spends more than 20 seconds tweaking his sound.

    - After tweaking, asks if it sounds OK.

    - leaves volume and tone knobs a 10 for everything.

    - Say's "Just play something and I'll jam over it".

    - closes his eyes while comping.

    - hits a clam, gets a pissed look and does the old right hand tuning during the song move like he's correcting the problem.

    - High fives all around after "Pride and Joy".
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

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    Forum Member telecast's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Angler View Post
    Top indicators this guitar player who's auditioning might not work out:

    - Before tuning up, pulls out a guitar stand and lays a towel over it before putting his Mexican Strat on it.

    - Brings own guitar, amp, and effects, and spends more than 20 seconds tweaking his sound.

    - After tweaking, asks if it sounds OK.

    - leaves volume and tone knobs a 10 for everything.

    - Say's "Just play something and I'll jam over it".

    - closes his eyes while comping.

    - hits a clam, gets a pissed look and does the old right hand tuning during the song move like he's correcting the problem.

    - High fives all around after "Pride and Joy".
    Inexperienced to be sure.

    Closing his eyes? He saw SRV do it once.

    The clam/pissed look/right handed tuning = nerves or simple inexperience.

    High fives after P&J, well, maybe he's just thrilled he could play it.

    Probably won't work out for the band, but at least he doesn't sound like an ass. Take him under your wing and mold him, you may end up with a decent guitarist.

    Or another Mexican Strat.

    A really well-cared for one at that....
    A friend in need is a good reason to screen your calls.

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    Forum Member boobtube21's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...



    Here's a couple more:

    -At some point he says, "Welp, time to take a break, it's 4:20!"

    -gets down on his knees while playing during a solo

    -Some friends of his stop by

    -He asks for a ride home

  4. #4
    Forum Member usc96's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by telecast View Post
    Take him under your wing and mold him, you may end up with a decent guitarist.
    +1 Eveyone starts somewhere. Enthusiasm and ability to learn from ones mistakes and accomplishments go along way.

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    Forum Member curtisstetka's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Further signs the new guitarist may not be firing on all cylinders:

    - says, "no thanks, how about you take this solo?"

    - gets out a Yoohoo at beer break time.

    - at the gig says, "man, I wish those girls would sit down and stop flashing us. It's so distracting."

    - says to the drummer, "why don't you play a little louder?" and means it.

    - changes out his Cort for his Behringer in the middle of the song because he wanted to capture the "right feel" for the solo.

    - plays slide with an Evian bottle.
    s'all goof.

  6. #6
    Forum Member 68Bassman's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Or.... can i borrow a pick..ah..and a cord.... 20 footer if you have it.

  7. #7
    Forum Member DanTheBluesMan's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    takes 40 minutes to get in tune with rest of the band

    or

    doesn't tune up at all.

  8. #8
    Forum Member JM3's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    ex-Drummer at a gig of mine

    You cant put flashing stage lights on because it makes me go into convulsions!

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    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    The amp knobs can be on "10",
    but the axe knob volume better be a limbo setting...

    Crappo geetars can sound great. I learned long ago to not judge a picker by his axe, or an axe by it's picker.

    Harmony Rockets in the right hands can produce orgasms.

    Yahh No???

    I can tell by the tunes and gods they adhere to. (talking with them)

    Yew Zhu Lee
    Shine your light.

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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    ---shows up with a Line 6 and three Strats.
    ---scrolls through all the settings during a solo.
    ---plays the mu chord in a Kinks tune.
    ---puts his meds on top of the amp.
    ---asks "Was that the Lydian mode you were playing?"
    ---says "Wish I'd brought my B52..."
    ---brings girlfriend/manager.

  11. #11
    Forum Member KevinWaide's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    -Asks to borrow gas money for the ride home.
    --The music is all around us. I can hear it. Can you?

  12. #12
    Forum Member refin's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    (1) Looks confused when you mention Leslie West's tone,and asks, "What multi-effects pedal did he use?"
    (2) Extra strings are the old ones he took off last time.
    (3) Opens a little bag and takes out an E-Bow.
    (4) Wears a shirt with a pic of his girlfriend on it.
    (5) Driving away from practice,you can hear his CD player cranking out Molly Hatchet.
    (6) His girlfriend carries in his guitar and sticks around.
    (7) Uses a wah pedal for treble booster.
    (8) Laughs about blues---"How hard can a song with 3 chords be?"
    (9) Invites the rest of the band over for a cookout and to watch '80s Genesis videos.
    (10) Remarks how much better the Beatles would have been with a guitarist like Yngwie.
    "My flesh and my heart fail...but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
    PS. 73:26

    MY JAMS--
    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...&content=music

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    Forum Member KevinWaide's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by refin View Post
    (10) Remarks how much better the Beatles would have been with a guitarist like Yngwie.
    Oh my God. I actually used to play with someone that delivered that line with a straight face, but it was Nuno instead of Yngwie.
    --The music is all around us. I can hear it. Can you?

  14. #14
    Forum Member hudpucker's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    (3) Opens a little bag and takes out an E-Bow.


    Yeah, those guys are freaks.



    Tone is in the fingers, eh? Let's hear your Vox, Marshall and Fender fingerings then...

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    Forum Member DoobieK's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Just keeps asking "How much bread does the band get per gig?"

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    Forum Member cooltone's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    ..wants the band to work on a tune he wrote...it's a rock opera based on an episode of M*A*S*H.
    "If you're cool, you don't know nothin' about it. It just is...or you ain't." - Keith Richards

  17. #17
    Forum Member refin's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    ---Says he has a girlfriend who would be perfect to sing backup.
    ---Actually wants to do Bohemian Rhapsody.
    ---Insists that the band would make more $ if they would do choreography.
    ---Has a Remember Dimebag sticker on his guitar.
    ---Wants everyone to have a huge backline for looks.
    ---Wears fluffy pirate shirts open to the belly button and a medallion.
    ---Brings an entourage of admirers to rehearsals--"They won't get in the way,they just wanna hang out and listen."
    ---Wants the band to do an arm-to-shoulder curtain call bow at the end of a night's work.
    "My flesh and my heart fail...but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
    PS. 73:26

    MY JAMS--
    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...&content=music

  18. #18
    Forum Member DoobieK's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by refin View Post
    ---Wears fluffy pirate shirts open to the belly button and a medallion.

    Hey, hey, hey now... That one strikes a little too close to home.


  19. #19
    Forum Member concert410's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    ...says my band in high school used to do a killer "jazzed up, slowed down/sped up bluesy" version of this that blew 'em everytime.
    A good, screaming Strat just might be the greatest guitar sound of all..... -Slash

  20. #20
    Forum Member refin's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Insists that a 100 watt all tube amp isn't projecting enough to the back tables at the American Legion.
    "My flesh and my heart fail...but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
    PS. 73:26

    MY JAMS--
    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...&content=music

  21. #21
    Forum Member KevinWaide's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by DoobieK View Post
    Hey, hey, hey now... That one strikes a little too close to home.

    Never had the medallion, but I still have my fluffy pirate shirt. lol
    --The music is all around us. I can hear it. Can you?

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    Forum Member cooltone's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    ...the last band he was in sounded "just like 'Death Leopard'"..
    ...spent his college tuition money on a new spandex outfit...
    ..brings in his rack and asks you to help him 'dial in a clean Marshall tone'..
    "If you're cool, you don't know nothin' about it. It just is...or you ain't." - Keith Richards

  23. #23
    Forum Member djinn1973's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by boobtube21 View Post


    Here's a couple more:

    -At some point he says, "Welp, time to take a break, it's 4:20!"
    Thats the one that always kills it for me I live near a college town and get it all the time.

  24. #24
    Forum Member refin's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Goes up to the club owner and tries to petition a free bar/food tab for the band because "we are worth it."
    Sells Amway during the band breaks.
    Insists on a mauve-colored Par can on him to bring out the subtleties of his Hello Kitty guitar.
    "My flesh and my heart fail...but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
    PS. 73:26

    MY JAMS--
    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...&content=music

  25. #25
    Forum Member Rickenjangle's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by refin View Post
    Goes up to the club owner and tries to petition a free bar/food tab for the band because "we are worth it."
    Sells Amway during the band breaks.
    Insists on a mauve-colored Par can on him to bring out the subtleties of his Hello Kitty guitar.
    Are you talking about Stetka again?

    "I'm gonna find myself a girl
    that can show me what laughter means
    And we'll fill in the missing colors
    In each other's paint-by-number dreams..."

  26. #26
    Forum Member hudpucker's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    If he asks, "What key is this in? Do or Re?"

    If he thinks going 'back to the tonic' is a euphemism for drinking...
    Tone is in the fingers, eh? Let's hear your Vox, Marshall and Fender fingerings then...

  27. #27
    Forum Member refin's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    --Wants the keyboard player to "sit out" the tunes that didn't have dominant keyboards to begin with.
    --Insists that people will really dig Marilyn Manson tunes if they are done right.
    "My flesh and my heart fail...but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
    PS. 73:26

    MY JAMS--
    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...&content=music

  28. #28
    Forum Member boobtube21's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by refin View Post
    Sells Amway during the band breaks.
    Oh, man...

  29. #29
    Forum Member Fripperton's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Says inspiring things like, "I had a 6 pack before I came over to audition and it has even affected my playing."


    This actually happened.

    I once had a guy show up with his instrument down-tuned to some tuning he had made up and he didn't know how to tune it to standard pitch to audition.
    VM



    If aliens listened to our current top 40, they'd think that the entire planet was populated by sexually ambivalent robots with ethnic insecurity.



  30. #30
    Forum Member refin's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by Fripperton View Post
    Says inspiring things like, "I had a 6 pack before I came over to audition and it has even affected my playing."


    This actually happened.

    I once had a guy show up with his instrument down-tuned to some tuning he had made up and he didn't know how to tune it to standard pitch to audition.
    Yikes!!!!



    There was a local band here back in the early '70s with guitar,bass,drums,and singer.The bass player's G tuning key had broken completely,so every night they tuned everything to whatever pitch the G string was on the bass.
    "My flesh and my heart fail...but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
    PS. 73:26

    MY JAMS--
    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...&content=music

  31. #31

    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by ES350 View Post
    ---shows up with a Line 6 and three Strats.
    ... HEY!

    Wait. Did you mean a line 6 amp or a line 6 guitar?

    Freakin' love my Vetta. *grumble*

  32. #32
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Listens to The Clash and says "I don't get it. The guy is harldy playing anything, and it's only chords."
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

  33. #33
    Forum Member refin's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Comes to the first gig dressed more goth than Edward Scissorhands....and it's a wedding.
    Has his mom drop him off at rehearsal.
    Wants to sell his guitar method DVDs at a back table during breaks.
    Has a camera onstage to take pics of everyone for the upcoming live CD he is going to suggest the band does.
    Actually brings a recording system to every gig to capture that "perfect night" for the upcoming live CD that he is going to suggest the band does.
    "My flesh and my heart fail...but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
    PS. 73:26

    MY JAMS--
    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...&content=music

  34. #34
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Count's off Take Five "ah one, two, three, four."
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

  35. #35
    TFF Stage Crew
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    LOL Chuck.

  36. #36
    Forum Member hudpucker's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sage View Post
    ... HEY!

    Wait. Did you mean a line 6 amp or a line 6 guitar?

    Freakin' love my Vetta. *grumble*


    Don't worry; it's just typical gear snobbery from an anonymous player X. Just another means to air one's prejudices under the guise of humour.

    Use what works for you and don't sweat it.
    Tone is in the fingers, eh? Let's hear your Vox, Marshall and Fender fingerings then...

  37. #37
    Forum Member curtisstetka's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by Rickenjangle View Post
    Are you talking about Stetka again?
    I don't have to come here for abuse, you know. I can get that anywhere.
    s'all goof.

  38. #38
    Forum Member Kap'n's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by curtisstetka View Post
    I don't have to come here for abuse, you know. I can get that anywhere.
    Yeah, but you get it here better than anywhere else.
    Several guitars in different colors
    Things to make them fuzzy
    Things to make them louder
    orange picks

  39. #39
    Forum Member juniorspecial's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    1) Hey, it's OK if I smoke this little rock with this car antenna, right?

  40. #40
    Forum Member Rickenjangle's Avatar
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    Re: Warning Signs the Guitar Player Might Not Work Out...

    Quote Originally Posted by curtisstetka View Post
    I don't have to come here for abuse, you know. I can get that anywhere.
    Aw, but if you didn't come here, that would steal all the joy we have from teasing you about the hello kitty guitar!

    Actually, my 10 year old daughter wants to play bass, and I wish I could get her a bass that had hello kitty on it; I'll bet she'd like that. But I'd never be caught dead playing one onstage...

    "I'm gonna find myself a girl
    that can show me what laughter means
    And we'll fill in the missing colors
    In each other's paint-by-number dreams..."

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