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Thread: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

  1. #1
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    Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    I've played a bazillion bar gigs, but at my advancing age ('50s) I find I have about zero enthusiasm for playing them any more.

    I play a bar gig and the next two to three days, I'm a basket case. Tired, aching, cranky, listless.

    But more than that, I'm sick of having to run a PA, I'm tired of being fucked with by asshole club owners, having to drag people away from the stage gear because their mamas didn't teach them to keep their hands off other people's things, I'm tired of idiotic requests ("Do you guys know any SLAYER?"), I'm tired of butt-ugly pole-dancing hobags, who are determined to shag one of the band guys, doesn't matter which (look, I'm old enough to know better, took a while but I am), I'm tired of no stage, indifferent audiences and finally, I'm tired of drunken assholes who just HAVE to sit in with the band.

    EDIT: Anyone else trying to get out of bars these days?
    Last edited by Hookerman; 07-03-2006 at 03:55 PM.

  2. #2
    Gravity Jim
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    I got tired of bar gigs in 1979. As much as I would love to play with other musicians more often and live, I just can't join a band. If I could start a band that just did parties and corproate gigs, then swell, but it'll be a cold day before I slug it out with the regulars at the Four D's Tap.

  3. #3
    Forum Member JM3's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    I still enjoy them, but it really depends on where, and how the place is managed.

    We actually make pretty good scratch, but I lean towards private parties and concerts in the summer months.

  4. #4
    Forum Member moonpie's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hookerman
    I've played a bazillion bar gigs, but at my advancing age ('50s) I find I have about zero enthusiasm for playing them any more.

    I play a bar gig and the next two to three days, I'm a basket case. Tired, aching, cranky, listless.

    But more than that, I'm sick of having to run a PA, I'm tired of being fucked with by asshole club owners, having to drag people away from the stage gear because their mamas didn't teach them to keep their hands off other people's things, I'm tired of idiotic requests ("Do you guys know any SLAYER?"), I'm tired of butt-ugly pole-dancing hobags, who are determined to shag one of the band guys, doesn't matter which (look, I'm old enough to know better, took a while but I am), I'm tired of no stage, indifferent audiences and finally, I'm tired of drunken assholes who just HAVE to sit in with the band.

    Anybody else aiming a little higher these days?



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  5. #5
    Forum Member Guitar_Mc's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    The last gig I played in a bar did involve several ambulances and several police cruisers.

    But I miss playing out.
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  6. #6
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    I love playing out in bars/clubs as much as I did the first time I did it 22 years ago.

    There are shitheads and jerks in every profession and in every hobby, what else is new? Playing for people is what's important to me--I deal with the management & booking issues and occasional patron issues as best I can, as we all do. It's no big deal if you love what you do.

    If those issues are interfering with your enjoyment of playing live music with other musicians for real people, you're letting it get to you for a reason. I don't know what reason, but there is one.

    To say that staying at home is "aiming higher" is offensive to me. If you're instead saying that you're wishing you could play bigger shows at places larger and more classy than the average bar/club scene, that I understand, but who doesn't?

  7. #7
    Forum Member Kap'n's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Playing bar gigs is the only way I can do live performance where I live.

    As of right now, the good far outweighs the bad.

    Of course, I wasn't gigging until I was well into my 30's.
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    PC - No offense intended...but when you've been doing it as long as I have, it's tiresome. Beyond tiresome.

    So with the band I'm in now, bar gigs will be limited (by agreement within the group) to one per month, and only if we have nothing else going on. In the area I live, there are other options, and I'd rather pursue those options as well as writing, recording, etc., than spend my time in bar gigs, where none of my friends, including my partner, will go (because of some of the aforementioned issues).

    Oh, BTW, I forgot to add in the OP, crappy money and long hours.

    I can agree to disagree. FWIW, just about every musician I know pretty much shares my mindset about this. A few exceptions but not many.

  9. #9
    Forum Member Kap'n's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hookerman
    In the area I live, there are other options.
    Cool. Explore them. This is supposed to be fun, right?
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Yes, and I've PLAYED some of them, but that was a different band ,a while ago, and I want to get back to that. I'm lucky in that I have contacts for gigs like that and because I have a reputation for delivering quality product on stage, I can bypass some of the dues-paying repetition I might otherwise have to do. I may have to pay dues, but I'd at least like them to be different...and less tiring.

  11. #11
    Forum Member moonpie's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by pc
    I love playing out in bars/clubs as much as I did the first time I did it 22 years ago.

    There are shitheads and jerks in every profession and in every hobby, what else is new? Playing for people is what's important to me--I deal with the management & booking issues and occasional patron issues as best I can, as we all do. It's no big deal if you love what you do.

    If those issues are interfering with your enjoyment of playing live music with other musicians for real people, you're letting it get to you for a reason. I don't know what reason, but there is one.

    To say that staying at home is "aiming higher" is offensive to me. If you're instead saying that you're wishing you could play bigger shows at places larger and more classy than the average bar/club scene, that I understand, but who doesn't?

    Well, if I could still do it, I would.
    Hope you, or anyone else, didn't misinterpret my post as anything else.

    I love playing, but there come a time when you have to admit.......


    nope................................not going there...............................








    I will only say......

    anyone who thinks I stay home as some form of being above the normal folks just sure don't know where I'm coming from......


    I hereby put myself on a one week suspension.....

    see y'all
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  12. #12
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Um... no Moon, I wasn't even addressing your post, because it was just clapping icons. So, I didn't see that as anything other than you agreed with him that you weren't into gigging out.

    My disagreement was his use of the phrase "aiming higher," which on the good side means we all want to better ourselves, and on the bad side means that those of us who aren't tired of gigging and bitter about whatever are somehow "lower."

    Hookerman, I appreciate that you didn't intend offense, but your assessment that when I've been doing it as long as you have is still talking down to me, which I don't appreciate. I know guys that have been gigging out for three years who are sick and tired of it--time doing it means nothing.

    If you're sick of it, you're sick of it. That doesn't mean that those of us who aren't sick of it aren't "hip to the truth" yet.

  13. #13
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    pc - well, I can tell you the reasons. No deep buried trauma here.

    In Fort Wayne, playing in a band means one of two things: you're either a half-assed nobody with your nose in the air playing "originals" (or as I prefer to call them, "derivatives") in a band of guys who are marginally capable but who have attracted a medium to large following of impaired fans who tell you that "you rule all" once a day on MySpace - or you're in a cover band that doesn't play in tune or in time. You make some money as the latter (none as the former), but you do it by playing dive bars, doing 10 minute jams on "Sweet Home Alabama" for crowds that came for dollar pitchers of Miller Lite.

    I'd love to play in a band that A) played great material B) real well C)thereby generating enough excitement that a bar crowd might actually look in your direction a couple times a night. The fact that no such outfit exists in my town tells me that my supposition is correct: if you started such a band, you'd be out 3K for a PA system and wouldn't find a gig anywhere in the county.

    So I'm for sure not going to play crappy just to get out in front of people, especially a bunch of drunk people who don't care. Because for me, performance is not what it's all about. Composition, melody, harmony, recording technique is equally what it's all about. I busted my ass on the road for five years, six night a week, four hours a night and that was plenty.

    But I agree... I don't think this is a higher calling or that you're not hip to the truth if you're gigging and loving it. I know the situation can be different in a larger town.

  14. #14
    Forum Member wellstrung's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    When I began to have contempt for my audiences back when, I knew it was time to change my way. Since I've gotten back into it, I've done five bar gigs and three parties. My mind set is different than before, and I loved the parties, but I'm still finding I don't really dig bars much. Part of it for me is I just find bars to be depressing. And that's my bag of shit. One upside these days is no more smoking in bars or restaurants around here, a huge plus. I also am loving connecting with other musicians again. But I am beginning to realize as I focus on music again, been there, done the bar thing, and I need other ways to do this.

    I have great admiration for people who have been able to successfully make music their way of life AND remain focused and centered. I couldn't do it, and part of it for me was I couldn't stand the bar scene. Again, my shit.

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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by gravity jim
    In Fort Wayne, playing in a band means one of two things:...
    Which would be why I live in a city where I can do this and not the area I grew up in.

    On the flip side Jim, I did what you're doing now for a few years at the early part of my (semi-) professional musical career. I produced, engineered and scored 112 episodes of a radio program for the local NPR feed, written jingles for about 60 commercials (including the now defunkt "Big Bear" chain of grocery stores), engineered, produced and scored seven corporate training/orientation videos, and scored two independant documentary films, all between 1988 and 1992.

    I loved the work, and probably would have continued it if I hadn't fallen into an unexpected career path in law enforcement and law itself.

    However, it wasn't nearly as exciting to me as playing out, even in crappy bars for a bunch of drunk people. I wasn't getting to do enough of that then, and all I thought about was doing more of it.

    Yet, I think if I phrased it that I wanted to aspire to a higher calling, you might have taken just a smidge of offense at that phrasing, no? That's all I'm saying.

    I wouldn't though, because I'm really jealous of what you do, but I'm just making the point. Areas do make a difference to the gigging aspect, but I'm a guy who would move if the gigging scene in my town was that shitty. That's who I am.

  16. #16
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    We still love playing in bars. We do the county fairs and private stuff too, but there isn't any thrill better than a good ol' juke joint filled with people where you're right next to the people. It's the roots of what we do. We can take a lot more liberties at a club gig too. It's a casual atmosphere. Yes, loadouts and getting home at 2AM sucks, but that's the job. I'm blessed to be in a band full of great guys who get along, know their shit, and enjoy it. It's a night out with the boys doing what we love and we get paid for it. And I have been doing it for a LONG time too. We all have an agreement that when it stops being fun we'll stop doing it, but nobody is even near being in that space now. I often wonder to myself that because this is so much fun, why doesn't everybody do it?

    BTW, can you give us the names of some bars where the women want to score with the band?
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by pc
    Um... no Moon, I wasn't even addressing your post, because it was just clapping icons. So, I didn't see that as anything other than you agreed with him that you weren't into gigging out.

    My disagreement was his use of the phrase "aiming higher," which on the good side means we all want to better ourselves, and on the bad side means that those of us who aren't tired of gigging and bitter about whatever are somehow "lower."

    Hookerman, I appreciate that you didn't intend offense, but your assessment that when I've been doing it as long as you have is still talking down to me, which I don't appreciate. I know guys that have been gigging out for three years who are sick and tired of it--time doing it means nothing.

    If you're sick of it, you're sick of it. That doesn't mean that those of us who aren't sick of it aren't "hip to the truth" yet.
    OK, I edited the OP to satisfy the sensitivity.

    I've just had it up to my eyeballs with bar gigs. In the area I live, there are no juke joints, it's mostly bars full of people who don't get the kind of music I do . There IS one place where the folks seem to get it. The owner is a great guy and treats us well, pays us well and no one requests Slayer. I WOULD do a gig there, as long as the music was appreciated.

    The kind of gigs I aspire to pay more money for less work, get me home at a reasonable hour and don't force me to run sound. I have a choice as to whether I mingle with the crowd. If I'm in a good mood, I can, if I'm not, I can pack my gear up and blaze home. There's a secure backstage where I don't have to worry about lugging all my gear with me if I don't want it stolen. I'd rather play one of those (for more money than a bar gig) than four others that play less and demand a lot more.

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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Angler
    BTW, can you give us the names of some bars where the women want to score with the band?
    What part of the world you in?

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    Forum Member cooltone's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    I got really tired of bar gigs after I got married and had my first child. I felt a huge shift in my priorities and the little things (about bar gigs) started to annoy me in a big way.
    I realized that spending some quality time with the family gave me more satisfaction than learning "Gator Country" note for note and having the six bar flies who made up our entire audience "not get it" and in fact kept yelling for us to 'turn it down'..night after night...

    I do have to say that this two year break has been nice, but on the flip side.. not having ANY outlet is a real drag...
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    I guess it depends on the bar. We did some gigs at a biker bar when I was still in high school and any chance to play we'd jump at. Actually kind of fun. Saw some fights, but at that age it just added to our excitement. One night some guy comes up to us and asks "Can you guys play 'Round Midnight' the Thelonius Monk tune"? (We had two horn players). Pretty surprising.

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    Forum Member frank thomson's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    like anything else, you gotta take the good w/ the bad

    when we played dive bars, we looked at it as a paid rehersal

    when we played big places, we were gods

    many years ago i read bruce springsteen quoted as saying, "if you can do anything else [instead of making a living as a musician], then do it"

    i can. i did. i am.
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Latley ive been playing private parties with my blues band and we are having a blast!. Birthdays , house warming and summer pool parties are great. But someone has to ask you if you want to play them. The pay is better and you get to eat really good food! Right now we are doing a sunday blues gig at a local sports bar once a month and the owner has decided that its a potluck type of thing and its great because everyone is laid back. Bars I have gotten sick of them so this is a great alternative.

  23. #23
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Well, I will say that if I had to play blues gigs at those type of bars I would have quit along time ago. Worse effing crowds in the biz (yeah, jazzbos can be reserved, but at least they're listening and understand what they're hearing) and boring music.

    We do good old' R&R and country. Our crowds tend to be younger. I enjoy being out with the younger people having a good time. We play dance-able tunes to get the people off their feet. When that happens, you don't have that disconnected feeling so often found at your average blues gig. I still get onstage at a blues club once a month or so, but it just ain't the same to me as rocking the joint out.
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  24. #24
    Forum Member telecast's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Well, there's no point in trying to quote all the points from you guys, it'd be three pages long. So, generally:

    I figured out a long time ago that I was never going to be anything more than what I am. 'Aiming higher' means what?

    In 1986, I burned out completely on bars and playing for many of the reasons outlined above, and a few others. I sold everything and was out of it for 12 years. Coming back was on a whim, and when I realized I wanted to play clubs again I set some parameters.

    1) I'm going to have fun.

    2) 1-2 gigs a month. See #1. And fun it shall remain or I'll again pull the plug.

    3) No Assholes. See #1. If I find a band member is an asshole, they're gone. If club owner is an asshole, someone else can deal with them or I won't go back.

    4) I'm gonna' play what I want, whether it's blues, rock, country, or whatever. See #1. In the early 80's during the Urban Cowboy phenom, you either played country or didn't work in the local small clubs. I didn't hate it, but it got very old after a while. Sure, I'll still cater to the crowd with certain tunes as long as they're within the genre.

    Do you notice a recurring theme?

    In reading Hookerman's original post, it strikes me that you're looking for the perfect deal. Big clubs, better money, not dealing with owners, not running sound, playing only the gigs you want, etc. etc.

    It sounds like you need a booking agent, a manager, a soundman, and a helluva lot more publicity. Then again, you say you're in your 50's and have been doing it forever. I suspect then, there's a reason you are where you are. Maybe aiming higher is just an excuse for frustration, because you haven't gotten to where you think you should be. The only way to deal with it is to quit, or make peace with the situation. This leads me back to my first comment:

    I figured out a long time ago that I was never going to be anything more than what I am.
    Maybe you should too.
    Last edited by telecast; 07-04-2006 at 06:31 AM.
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    Forum Member funkyguitar's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    I like the 50/50 mix of club gigs vs function gigs. The club gigs are good to invite friends, family, guests. The function gigs are good for the cabbage, chow and your guilty pleasure tunes. (D9#5 / E13b9, etc)
    “To do a common thing uncommonly well brings success.”

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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by fezz parka
    FWIW, I think the "aiming higher", was meant to say that if you're tired of bar gigs too, what are you doing to make things better for you ? Not if you still like playing bars, that you're not enlightened.
    Nah, I think it was clear what he meant, or he wouldn't have edited it to make the posts that follow seem to make less sense. Especially when he clarifies it in post #8.

    Quote Originally Posted by fezz parka
    It's all about doing what you dig...
    Egg-zackly. In my perfect world, I'd do Gravity's job during the day and gig at night. But... like G-J's live music scene sucks in his area, the production house game here is completely sewn up between two giants here in town. I bet I could eventually carve out a piece of the pie, but I'm not really in a position to quit the comfy govt job & benefits to start over.

    As for the gig thing though, Telecast is right on. You have to decide what bugs you so much that it starts to subtract from what should be a thing you love. Like Hookerman, I got a bit tired of lugging sound gear when ÜberGroove was my only band, so I changed things around so my main gigging band was with Sharp Circle as a side man, so someone else lugs the gear and sets it up, and I just show up and wail. That way, with only one or so ÜberGroove gig a month, it's more of a happening and makes it no problem at all for me to lug gear that one time.

    You can make the decisions that make it fun again, and if no decision makes it fun again, fuggetabouddit.

  27. #27
    Forum Member telecast's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Aw crap. I was hoping to see a mod fight.
    A friend in need is a good reason to screen your calls.

  28. #28
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Only if we fight together, mannnn.


  29. #29
    Forum Member telecast's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Man she was hot, in a Haight-Ashbury flower child sort of way.
    A friend in need is a good reason to screen your calls.

  30. #30
    Forum Member Kap'n's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by telecast
    1) I'm going to have fun.

    2) 1-2 gigs a month. See #1. And fun it shall remain or I'll again pull the plug.

    3) No Assholes. See #1. If I find a band member is an asshole, they're gone. If club owner is an asshole, someone else can deal with them or I won't go back.

    4) I'm gonna' play what I want, whether it's blues, rock, country, or whatever. See #1. In the early 80's during the Urban Cowboy phenom, you either played country or didn't work in the local small clubs. I didn't hate it, but it got very old after a while. Sure, I'll still cater to the crowd with certain tunes as long as they're within the genre.
    Pretty much the rules I live by, too, although the gigs/month can be as high as 4 or 5. But that's OK, as long as it's fun for everybody.
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  31. #31
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by telecast
    Man she was hot, in a Haight-Ashbury flower child sort of way.
    Yeah, Peggy Lipton was the biz-omb.

  32. #32
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by fezz parka

    Peggy went to my high school.
    I'd ask you if you had any good stories, but I think she's about 5 or 6 years older than you.

    But then, that would be a REALLY good story.

  33. #33
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Wow, that's cool. Quincy has never ceased to amaze me. I guess he ceased to amaze Peggy awhile ago, but that's different.

  34. #34
    Forum Member frank thomson's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by pc
    Only if we fight together, mannnn.





    hot-hot-hot
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  35. #35
    Forum Member telecast's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kap'n
    Pretty much the rules I live by, too, although the gigs/month can be as high as 4 or 5. But that's OK, as long as it's fun for everybody.

    Yeah, I meant to say 1-2 times a month on average . Sometimes we do more, sometimes less. This month we have 4 nights. It was almost 6. We're playing a new club next week and the owner said if we do well she'd give us the week following. It's a big 'community weekend' and she wanted to make sure we were good before she booked us. I was thinking: How can she wait until the week before too book a band for a big weekend? Answer: She couldn't. I knew she couldn't, and never really expected it. When I dropped off the flyers last night I found she had booked someone else already.

    I don't really care, we're playing enough this month. Plus our first gig went well and they want us back, so I figure we're back in there toward the end of August or early September. I expect we'll get rebooked at this place too, and the place we're in July 29 will probably call us back. Next gig after that is August 19. Since we're a 'new' band, these are all first time gigs for the clubs, although we've played some of them in other bands.
    A friend in need is a good reason to screen your calls.

  36. #36
    Forum Member frank thomson's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by fezz parka
    Well, I think this girl had something to do with it...



    ok....stop it!
    Imanidiot.

  37. #37
    TFF Stage Crew
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    It's good to be Q.

  38. #38
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Frank just made a GIANORMOUS Freudian slip in #39!!!
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

  39. #39
    Forum Member wellstrung's Avatar
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by telecast
    I figured out a long time ago that I was never going to be anything more than what I am. 'Aiming higher' means what?

    1) I'm going to have fun.

    2) 1-2 gigs a month. See #1. And fun it shall remain or I'll again pull the plug.

    3) No Assholes. See #1. If I find a band member is an asshole, they're gone. If club owner is an asshole, someone else can deal with them or I won't go back.

    4) I'm gonna' play what I want, whether it's blues, rock, country, or whatever. See #1.
    This captures well where I'm coming from these days as I get back into it.

    Except I'm allowed to be an asshole

  40. #40
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    Re: Anyone else tired of bar gigs?

    Quote Originally Posted by pc
    Nah, I think it was clear what he meant, or he wouldn't have edited it to make the posts that follow seem to make less sense. Especially when he clarifies it in post #8.
    Actually, no, I edited it because you were...taking it so incredibly personally. That's the only reason.

    I meant aim higher, still do, and Fezz has it right. I'm aiming for gigs that don't leave me feeling my age and pissed off at the same time. If you dig bar gigs, by all means, have at 'em, you can have mine.

    They aren't fun for me except the one place I mentioned, where the patrons and the owner git it. Other than that place, I'd rather stay home than do bar gigs.

    FWIW, I've spoken to a lot of musicians who are about in the same place as I am, in their 50s, and the thought of playing a bar gig makes them groan. They've been playing music most of their adult lives and the bar gigs finally wore them down to the point that they don't want that any more. They are all are incredible musicians, but for them, like me, it has become a case of diminishing returns.

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