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Thread: songwriters' lounge

  1. #81
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Rickenjangle, I agree 100%, but I think for a fledgling songwriter it's a trap that draws them into introspective word-smithing that won't connect with an audience. Nothing wrong with that if it's a catharthis type of writing binge.


    Well, here's some "I" in a song I recorded a while back just to show I'll break my own rules. Song was goofy lyrically, but melodically it kicks ass. So I keep it around for a rewrite.

    Mrs OA loved it until she figured out it was about the dog.


    ****************************
    LSFAD

    I watched you watch me while I watched TV
    I’d say your name and you tipped your head
    And your eyes smiled at me.
    All the years between us, have seen us both grow grey
    And I could tell what you were thinking
    Though you’d never much to say.

    (Chorus)
    But then, you had to go away
    Away, you had to go away

    When I’d get home whenever
    You’d always greet me with a smile
    My day was never over till I talked to you a while
    You always seemed so happy
    When we’d ride in my old truck
    With you on that seat next to me I was never out of luck

    (Bridge)
    For fifteen years we were just so happy
    Through thick and thin you were by my side
    But now you’re gone, this big old house is empty
    You cant believe how many nights that I….

    Repeat Verse 1
    Chorus
    coda
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

  2. #82
    Forum Member Rickenjangle's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Shoot, that puts a tear in my eye! I wish I had a dog so I could go home and hug him!

    "I'm gonna find myself a girl
    that can show me what laughter means
    And we'll fill in the missing colors
    In each other's paint-by-number dreams..."

  3. #83
    Forum Member chuckocaster's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    here's anew one i wrote last night. still working out the third verse, but it seemed to come together real quick. a pop-rock type song in the "superdrag" type of rock.

    "This One Pony Town"

    mary sees what she's been missing
    the answer's not buying in it's selling out
    all the reasons she's been given
    are now coming out of her mouth
    shouldn't we feel like the lucky ones,
    watching her come out of her shell?
    she might feel just like a hypocrite
    cause her whole world's gone south

    i will never let you drown
    in this one pony town

    i tried to tell you to be careful
    i tried to tell you the truth
    there's a lot of ugly people
    none of them are quite like you
    but i can't hold your hand forever
    you've got to see it for yourself
    you can trust that i have been there
    i'm trying to save you from yourself

    chorus

    (want to put a nifty guitar solo before the 3rd verse)

    now that you've been turned out
    don't you think it's time for you to come home?
    where i won't tell you lies
    just to get you to stay for the night
    i know it might sound strange
    but i think you're more than that




    and that's as far as i got. like i said, i'm still working out the third verse but i tend to just put the words in to redo later. i'm thinking of dropping two lines out of the last verse also to keep it fresh and shorten up the ending. beings that i want this one to be "poppier" than most of my songs.

    i'll let it sit for a couple days and then go back to edit and tighten things up lyrically.
    "don't worry, i'm a professional!"

  4. #84
    Gravity Jim
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    chucko, I really like the "ear" of this lyric. With no attitude on my part and no obligation on yours (hey, I'm going to invent a new acronym for that: NAOMP-NOOP), I feel like the rhyme scheme keeps the main rhymes too far part in the verses. What if you went more like this?

    mary sees what she's been missing
    it's not what you buy, it's what you sell..
    Shouldn't we feel like the lucky ones,
    watching her come out of her shell?
    All the reasons she's been given
    are now coming out of her mouth...
    she might feel just like a hypocrite
    cause her whole world's gone south

    If you think of the rhyme this way, the rest of lyric may come easier. I'd also look at avoiding "yourself" at the end of a line. That's how a million girls/dreams/hearts/dinner plates have ended up "on the shelf." ;)
    Last edited by Gravity Jim; 11-08-2005 at 07:22 AM.

  5. #85
    Forum Member Kap'n's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Quote Originally Posted by Gravity Jim
    I'd also look at avoiding "yourself" at the end of a line. That's how a million girls/dreams/hearts/dinner plates have ended up "on the shelf." ;)
    Perhaps the worst Eagles lyric ever. :lol
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  6. #86
    Gravity Jim
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Quote Originally Posted by Kap'n
    Perhaps the worst Eagles lyric ever. :lol
    And with so many clunky ones to choose from, too. How can anyone top, "Well, I'm runnin' down the road tryin' to loosen my load?"

  7. #87
    Forum Member Kap'n's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Quote Originally Posted by Gravity Jim
    "Well, I'm runnin' down the road tryin' to loosen my load?"
    I find castor oil works better than jogging.
    Several guitars in different colors
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  8. #88
    Forum Member music-n-motorcycle's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Hahahaha
    4:20, my favorite time of day.

  9. #89
    Forum Member chuckocaster's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    thanks for the input jim, it is appreciated. like i said, i'll come back to it in a couple days and edit. i just have to write stuff down as it comes to me or i'll never remember it later. will update when i get the words sorted out.
    "don't worry, i'm a professional!"

  10. #90
    Forum Member NeoFauve's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    This site has lots of stuff that might be helpful in jogging the mind.
    http://www.musesmuse.com/menu-help.html
    I know my mind needs some jogging.
    Found it in Acoustic Gtr magazine.
    It's sort of a Reader's Digest on the subject of songwriting.
    I've only skimmed around, but I printed a couple articles for train reading.



    Keep on rockin'!
    Your pal,
    NF:yay
    "Well, I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused..."
    Elvis Costello

  11. #91
    Forum Member bonefish's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    hey guys and gal(s?), i'm a little late to the party, but i've been lurking this thread since it started. been WAY too busy lately to even think about writing, but things are finally settling into a groove, and i'm starting a new project that's going to rely heavily on originals, so i thought i'd pop in for a little inspiration and whatnot.(BTW, i love just about everything i've read here).

    my biggest problem is a combination of laziness and perfectionism-if it's not stellar right out of the box i have a hard time finishing it. but a lot of times i just let those half formed ideas percolate (sometimes for years) in the back of my head, then revisit them once in a while to see what a little perspective can do. here's a good example of this- i've had the first line of this song bouncing around for about six or seven years, and just finally put a riff to it and then it all fell in place. it's about a time in my life that i don't neccesarily regret, but wouldn't care to revisit, and it's called "Spun". A-F#-D-A, think everclear (more on that later).

    It's hard to sleep with someone when you never sleep
    Still hard to break a promise that you never meant to keep
    I can't shut my eyes, and watch the world go by
    I can't shut my mouth and stop these lies from coming out

    Never should've had that last one, hell i never should've had the first
    i'm amazed how fucking fast it went from a blessing to a curse
    never should've cracked that bottle, yeah drinking only makes it worse
    never should've gave in 'cuz i know i'll never quench this thirst but

    what am i doing here, in this stupid place
    what am i doing with this stupid smile on my stupid face
    what am i doing acting strong when i know i'm weak
    too tired to leave, and too spun to sleep

    I don't wanna live like this, with this bleeding heart
    I don't wanna live this way, with this secret fear
    I don't wanna die like this, waiting for a stolen kiss
    I don't wanna die this way with my pulse pounding in my ears

    what am i doing here...
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  12. #92
    Forum Member mgade's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Stop the music, at least almost, whisper (or shout) "Rebirth" and bring on the instrumental thunder.

    I've tried it.

  13. #93
    Forum Member bonefish's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    here's another one that goes back about 15 years. (it's a really stonesy thing in G w/ an A7 right where you'd expect it to be). It's called "Dale's House" 'cuz that's the name of my roommate at the time.

    I woke up this morning, with jack daniels on my breath
    a bastard of a headache, and a stranger in my bed
    my landlord called up bitchin', 'boout the backrent i ain't paid
    my roommate drank my whiskey, man i've had better days

    CHORUS: I wanna new car,(big G-Bb-B-C walk here) I wanna new house
    I wanna new life, man I gotta get out
    I wanna go home, my life is going nowhere
    I wanna go home, but I'm already there (C-B-A-G rundown here)

    Got laid off from my last job, quit the one before
    I hate the one I got now, but man i really need the dough
    I wonder why I bother, gettin' out of bed
    It's the first day of the rest of my life, and i wish i was dead

    CHORUS

    LEAD

    Spent three years with a lover, who loved messing with my mind
    took three years to recover, I was wasted all the time
    so now i spend my nights with, whoever takes me home
    yeah sex is overrated, but i hate to sleep alone

    CHORUS

    I wanna go home, but i'm already there.
    Last edited by bonefish; 01-07-2006 at 02:42 AM.
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  14. #94
    Forum Member chuckocaster's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    :yay

    i can dig that man. i'd really love to hear the whole song, but then again, i haven't recorded what i've done.

    keep them coming fish de bone!
    "don't worry, i'm a professional!"

  15. #95
    TFF Stage Crew
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Nice stuff bonefish. :yay

  16. #96
    Forum Member moonpie's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Yes Indeed :yay
    If you leave the house, you're just asking for it.

  17. #97
    Forum Member bonefish's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    thanks guys.

    here's another one from around the same time frame as "spun". it's based around an open C slid up to a D, then an Em Am riff. it's called (for rasons that escape me now) "Cherry Wheat". (bonus points-see if you can spot the stephen king reference)

    I am not crying for the loves I have lost
    I am not weeping let me get this across to you
    I am not grieving for my broken heart
    I've just been staring too long at the dark

    I denied three times like Peter and was then myself denied
    the truth I see before me stems from all my lies
    the world has ways to drag you down an you know she keeps on trying but...

    I am not crying...
    Iam not cyring...

    I am not bleeding though I'm cut to the quick
    I am not wounded, I am not sick
    I am not worried and I don't intend to start
    I've just been staring to long at the dark

    LEAD BREAK

    I am not screaming that life is unfair
    I know it is and I do not care
    I am not trying to tear it all apart
    I've just been staring too long at the dark

    All the crazy things we tell ourselves to keep our mental health
    seem to fade away when you're driving home by yourself
    the world has was to drag you down an you know it keeps on tryin but...
    I am not crying...
    I am not crying...
    I am not crying... (fade) Co-written w/ shane garry

    i just remembered, i've got a rough demo of "dale's house" and a few others on our soundclick page here
    Last edited by bonefish; 01-07-2006 at 10:35 PM.
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  18. #98
    Forum Member NeoFauve's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Well, folks, it looks like I might be writing a country song.
    It just sprouted up around a couple of lines I had in a notebook that must be 3 or 4 years old.
    Kind of an old school, maybe Roy Orbison feel.
    A few verses and a bridge so far.

    Twice As Blue

    There’s a breeze stirring the blinds
    No moon out to get in my eyes
    I should be dreaming
    So should you
    Toss and turn
    What else is new?

    Half awake and half asleep
    Naked as the starless sky
    And twice as dark
    Twice as blue
    Once again
    Without a clue

    How to lay now and then in their places
    One in front and one behind
    What lies beyond
    Slips right through
    I'm twice as dark
    Twice as blue

    It’s later than it ought to be
    Sweet slumber, I could not find
    Bloodshot eyes
    Things to do
    Coffee black
    Sun breaks through

    Is it regret
    Or just the quiet ‘round here
    That’s laid me so low since you’ve gone?
    I told myself
    That I didn’t want
    And couldn’t possibly need for a while
    Then you, I loved
    I desired, I craved, but I pushed you away
    Now I’m wondering, what have I done?

    Twice As Blue-Bill Knell c2005
    "Well, I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused..."
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  19. #99
    Forum Member NeoFauve's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Here's another one from my recent spurt. I'm curious to hear what y'all think.

    C'est La Vie


    Driving by the reservoir
    When something stirred
    Thought I heard a voice
    Couldn’t make out a word

    Fog kissing the water
    Dancing on the breeze
    Evocative of something
    That left me uneasy

    Cest la vie
    So it goes
    Just take the wheel
    And let it roll


    Falling through bare branches
    Moonlight on the road
    Scattered revelations
    Show me where to go

    Bending with the yellow lines
    A ribbon of black
    Winding through the shadows
    To bring me back

    It seems by now I might be used to all these things I see
    I ought to know this road as well as where it always leads
    But the wonder never wanes
    If anything it grows
    Like a spring that feeds the water from so far below
    You get what you need
    But never really know


    (Instrumental chorus, maybe)

    Waiting at a traffic light
    At the edge of town
    For no real reason
    Not a soul around

    Changing now from red to green
    The mist turns to rain
    Wonder why I stop at all
    When it’s really all the same

    It seems by now I might be used to all these things I see
    I ought to know this road as well as where it always leads
    But the wonder never wanes
    If anything it grows
    Like a spring that feeds the water from so far below
    You get what you need
    But never really know


    Reaching for the radio
    It turns me on
    How suddenly it’s all so clear
    For the span of a song

    Cest la vie
    So it goes
    Just take the wheel
    And let it roll…

    "C'est La Vie" c Bill Knell 2006

    I never used to be one of these "write everyday" people.
    But it seems to work, at least when there's ideas percolating.
    Wierd. And I've been going through some older stuff, and noticing similarities in the POV of the what I'm writing.
    The old stuff came and was worked on so sporadically that I figured it was just random, lucky. Now I actually set aside some time, pretty much daily to work on 'em. They do start off just occurring to me, but then in the more concious, worked-on parts, I'm noticing, come from the same place. Similar thoughts surface.
    Interesting goings-on.

    Cheers,
    NF
    "Well, I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused..."
    Elvis Costello

  20. #100
    Gravity Jim
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Neo-Fauve, that's a true observation. You can't hide yourself, no matter what. Even songs that I wrote for corporate events, where the object is to rally the troops and get peole fired up about thier jobs? I look back a couple of years later, and I can see what was happening in my life in those lyrics.

    I like what you're writing, BTW... drop by Indiana and we'll make an album. :)

    And I'm not sure "Twice As Blue" is a country song. What if Burt Bacharach wrote the music? And then it got covered by Wilco?

  21. #101
    Forum Member NeoFauve's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Thanks, Jim.

    As long as Burt doesn't sing it.

    In the the writing classes I've taken, at least "creative" writing, the idea was always to write what you know. Prodded by an assignment, it always seemed easy to get rolling. When I've purposely set out to write a song, the monster always kind of said, "Yeah, sure! :rl "
    But when I just jot down something or record some idea that pops into my head, it's almost like the whole thing exists already, somewhere. I just have to write and escavate around that first thing and it starts showing up.
    Pretty neat.
    "Well, I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused..."
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  22. #102
    Forum Member bonefish's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    great article in the latest rolling stone with neil young-he talks about his process, kinda like being a receiver more than a creator. i've heard keef expound on the topic in a similar fashion. the really good songs write themselves. (or as we not so eloquently put it-"the muse shat upon us.") when you start editing you start second guessing yourself AND the muse. YMMV, but i try to keep the finished product as close to the original lightning bolt as possible.
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  23. #103
    Forum Member seagate's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Some cool posts...

    I'm as hopeless in writing lyrics as I am singing them....


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  24. #104
    Forum Member matsb's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Quote Originally Posted by Kap'n
    So how does one go about writing a song? We're getting harassed by friends that we need to start doing original material.
    This was a while ago, but I've thinkin 'bout writing something in reply to this, Kap'n, and since the subject is timeless...

    1. Find what could be a title, or a concept, or something that happened recently that you've been thinking about - a seed that can grow or a grain of sand that can irritate or just a point of departure.

    2.Grab a stack of blank pages, look at what you just have written on top of the first page (answer to 1.) and start write everything that comes into your mind - and everything! Make a point of not censuring yourself or editing out stuff you find embarassing. And don't bother about making full sentences or making sense. The editing comes later. Do this until your arm is numb. Rest and do it again.

    3. Read through what you have written. Some of the sentences and some of the thoughts should be interesting or beautiful or weird enough to continue working with.

    4. Try and decide what form you are aiming for - verse chorus bridge? strophic with a refrain each last line? Decide where your little strands of words should go.

    5. Now you have metric "templates" and rhyme words, cause you´re gonna have to write some more to fill in the gaps and make sense and you can also rewrite some of what you saved that doesn't fit meter-wise.

    6. Write music to the lyric. And the youre gonna have to rewrite the lyric to fit the music. :)


    Quote Originally Posted by Kap'n
    ... but when it comes to getting a blank sheet of paper, I can't come up with a concept that I think is worth writing about.
    ´

    I wonder if there is such a thing as a concept that is not worth writing about.
    Last edited by matsb; 01-25-2006 at 03:05 PM.

  25. #105
    Forum Member NeoFauve's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Regarding Kap'ns' question:
    Personally, I've never had any luck with the "I'm going to write a song about..." approach.
    I find that they usually start themselves.
    A short bit of melody and words just comes into my head together.
    It's like a hole is poked in a wall and I get a little peek at what's inside. I'll write around that and try to rip it open or fit my head through the opening.

    I listen to A LOT of music. So I suspect the forms and structure pile up and pollute my thoughts. Then I go about living my life, and personal things show up in the lyrics. Maybe literally, maybe in a a more symbolic form.
    I find out what it's about somewhere along the line and I can either clarify things or obscure them more. I never know which will work better.

    Lately I do it AWAY from the guitar.
    I write and write and re-write and tweak with the initial melody idea always in mind. It'll start to develop as I flesh out the lyrics. I'll hear verse and chorus melodies often enough up here-> during all this.
    When it seems kind of whole, I'll pick up the guitar work on learning it. Not that they're anything difficult.

    My playing is so habit based that I'm afraid I'd tend to paint myself into corners if I steer w/the guitar.

    My tip is keep a tape recorder of notebook around, and look at what shows up. Maybe it'll point you toward something.
    "Well, I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused..."
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  26. #106
    Forum Member The Nazz Are Blue's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    A tape recorder or a notebook is a great thing to have around. Whenever I get an idea, I get it down as soon as I can. Preferably i'll record it real quick just so I dont have to remember how it went. Ideas seem to come real often most of the time, except for when I actually want to write a song. So it's good to already have something in your head when you sit down to write (aka something written down or recorded previously)

  27. #107
    Forum Member chuckocaster's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    i have a huge notepad of poems that i write in. and usually what happens is the good ideas will stay in my head. then when i write a song (in another notebook) they come back and work themselves into the songs. when i hit a road bump i go back into the poem book and search for ideas.

    i never sit down and say "i'm writing a song today", because that never turns out. i usually just start playing guitar and something will come out if i'm inspired, and if not (like what has been happening a lot lately) then no big deal.

    i usually write from start to finish, leaves spaces where i can't think of anything to go. and then go back a couple days later and see what's up with it.
    "don't worry, i'm a professional!"

  28. #108
    Forum Member NeoFauve's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Ooops...
    "Well, I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused..."
    Elvis Costello

  29. #109
    Forum Member NeoFauve's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    A 3rd (?) draft of "Twice As Blue," my (potentially) country song.

    Twice As Blue
    There’s a breeze stirring the blinds
    No moon out to get in my eyes
    I should be dreaming
    So should you
    Toss and turn
    What else is new?

    Half awake and half asleep
    Naked as the starless sky
    And twice as dark
    Twice as blue
    Once again
    Without a clue

    BRIDGE I
    These deeper shades
    Of The coolest of hues
    Go so well with the way that I feel
    Oh if they would
    Would just begin to fade
    Or maybe start to wear thin and reveal

    How to lay now and then in their places
    One in front, one behind
    What lies beyond
    Slips right through
    (It’s) Twice as dark
    (I’m) Twice as blue

    BRIDGE
    Instrumental Bridge/Break

    It’s later than it ought to be
    No sweet slumber could I find
    Bloodshot eyes
    Things to do
    Coffee black
    Sun breaks through

    BRIDGE II
    Is it regret
    Or just the quiet ‘round here
    That’s laid me so low since you’ve gone?
    I told myself
    That I didn’t want
    And couldn’t possibly need for a while
    Then you, I loved
    I desired, I craved, but I pushed you away
    Now I’m wondering, what have I done?


    There’s a breeze stirring the blinds...

    It’s later than it ought to be...


    “Twice As Blue” Bill Knell c2006
    "Well, I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused..."
    Elvis Costello

  30. #110
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Late night
    Quiet moon
    Stars shake and tremble in the sky

    Makes me think 'bout times gone by
    Before when I was lonesome it was easy to cry-ee-ay-aye


    ...(i wanna steal that "quiet hue" line right about here.)

    Go, Neo
    Shine your light.

  31. #111
    Forum Member chuckocaster's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    think alt-country (i guess)

    MONACO

    Am (1 bar) F (1 bar) C (2 bars)

    monaco, you promised to be my friend
    then i watched you fold, just like a chianese fan
    when you told me you loved me, i thought it was real
    i guess you just had me under your spell

    i watched the waves slowly roll up and drag your castle into the sea
    the only ones who were laughing, were the seagulls and me
    i laid my finger on your cheek, and watched your freckles sparkle like the sand
    the beauty of watching things decompose, is something you'll never understand

    Dm, Am (still working on how long they'll last)

    you always felt safer, at a place that gave you just enough rope

    C, G (same as above) both together will be 4 bars

    love unconditional to you, is just a joke


    and that's it so far. i've had the same problem as before, completing a third verse. i know i want to talk about seeing a daughter i should have fathered, and seeing "monaco" act strong and tall. but i've been hitting a brick wall in regards to wording and fleshing out the third verse.
    "don't worry, i'm a professional!"

  32. #112
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    chuckobunny: maybe it doesn't require a third verse.

    Same black clouds
    Bring another early night
    Drinking the last of the cooking wine
    Seems all right

    Cause it's Friday
    Friday with the power going out
    Yes it's Friday
    Wood getting low and my baby outta town
    Friday in the mountains
    Swear I haven't seen the sun
    since last July

    Well, April showers bring lots more than promises of May flowers
    April showers, on a Friday, bring the blues
    Shine your light.

  33. #113
    Forum Member chuckocaster's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    i've been working on it, i just need to fine tune the wording of it. i hear ya on the maybe no third verse, sometimes i don't put one in. it's just that the story is longer than 2 verses, but then again, i might not want to extend the story that long...i guess we'll see.

    here's another one i wrote last night.

    forget the others, i never cared much for them
    they have a hard time seeing what's in front of them
    if it doesn't fit inside their little guilded box
    then it's not so easy to forget, and it means too much

    there's 2 sides to every coin, gotta take the good with the bad
    don't let go of yourself just to entertain a fad
    so if you want to judge me by the marks upon my skin
    then you're missing the point, not once, but once again

    (chorus)
    you're searching out a prize you'll never win
    you're seeking the shelter of an empty friend
    and you'll always come up short
    with people who fight a holy war

    there's not much i can do from my cave casting light on the wall
    the shadows and flicker, then eventually fall
    ....

    same problem, finishing the third verse...
    "don't worry, i'm a professional!"

  34. #114
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    A little girl with onyx eyes puts her tiny hand in mine and smiles a suffering into my soul
    I see her clear and infinite beautiful child, she disappears into my longing my heart
    While Monaco is super-starring, super hero, castle wrecking, diving crazy strong into the sea
    And seagulls plot their salty course and freckles look like constellations...(blah blah blah, brush it up)
    Last edited by Annie D.; 04-07-2006 at 07:45 PM.
    Shine your light.

  35. #115
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    there's not much i can do from my cave, wicks casting light on the wall
    the shadows dance and flicker, then eventually fall
    In darkness we light these candles, ask a blessing and forgiveness
    while the shadows grow, extinguishing the light, still you don't see me

    or sumpin' like that. Hack A. Way
    Shine your light.

  36. #116
    Forum Member moonpie's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Quote Originally Posted by chuckocaster
    forget the others, i never cared much for them
    I love that line :yay
    If you leave the house, you're just asking for it.

  37. #117
    Forum Member chuckocaster's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    damn annie, that's some fucking awesome ass word smithing. no joke, no lie. shoot me an email, maybe we can work on some of this stuff.

    thanks moonie. a friend of mine and i are going to do an album when comes home from up the river called "the others". it's a whole philosophy we have, and it was weird to find someone else that refers to "them" in the same way, and have it be the same people and idea...
    "don't worry, i'm a professional!"

  38. #118
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Thanks, amigo. I'll drop you a line.
    Shine your light.

  39. #119
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Here's a "ba dump ta dum, ta dum, ta dum" thought:

    "She's slithers up beside him and says
    Baby what you want, what you need, what you got?"
    Shine your light.

  40. #120
    Forum Member chuckocaster's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    monaco (reworked)

    monaco, you promised to be my friend
    then i watched you fold just like a chianese fan
    when you told me you loved me i thought it was real
    but you just had me under your spell

    i watched the waves slowly roll up and drag your castle into the sea
    the only ones laughing were the seagulls and me
    so i laid my finger on your cheek and watched your freckles sparkle like the sand
    the beauty of watching things come undone you'll never understand

    you always felt safer in a place that gave you just enough rope
    sometimes i wish you would change, so i could give you hope

    i saw you that day in the store, then he saw me too
    so i laid his mouth open, for the things he did to you
    that's when i saw your little girl staring up with big eyes
    i wish i could kill my feelings, and just tell lies
    and one day you'll have to explain why i acted so that day
    about the love we once had, and why you didn't stay
    "don't worry, i'm a professional!"

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