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Thread: songwriters' lounge

  1. #41
    TFF Stage Crew
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Thanks for the read and suggestions Jim. :)

    The focus of that tune needed to be blurry, though, for reasons not worth going into now. There is a very specific coded message in that song that only one person can get, but only if they read between the lines. "Look through the drops to see the truth."

    It's just what was up at that time in my life. ;)

  2. #42
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Bedroom eyes, big brown eyes, voodoo eyes, smiling eyes (let me think about it, thanks)
    Shine your light.

  3. #43
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge



    Another shmaltzy chick love song, to a driving beat and soaring lead: sounds better than it reads. "mi, mi, mi"

    Here I go, tumbling into your love
    It pulls like gravity
    The tides on the sea
    It's just a mystery
    You've got a hold on me

    Here we go, tumbling, tumbling, tumbling
    Into love

    Here I am, stumbling into your love
    Can I take the chance
    Attempt the dance
    Let you take my hand
    Waltz me round the floor

    Here I go, tumbling, tumbling, tumbling
    Into your love

    Are you tumbling, tumbling, tumbling
    Into my love


    Shine your light.

  4. #44
    Forum Member NeoFauve's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    I like that, Annie.
    I can hear Lucinda or Emmylou, with keranglin' guitar chunking along behind a tumbling beat, sort of a "Crying, Waiting, Hoping" (Buddy H) type structure.
    Nice.
    "Well, I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused..."
    Elvis Costello

  5. #45
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Pro stuff for sure Annie. Makes me want to reach for a big ole acoustic and lay down some chunga-chunga for you. Or grab my Tele and play between the lines, if youse know what I mean. :)

  6. #46
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Thanks, amigos, you got the musical jist just fine. Maybe i'll post some dark stuff, someday soon.

    The ones posted by others are so good; images so sharp; i'm a little hesitant.

    like:

    "Be sure and hit that black ice on the sharp curve outta town
    Pedal to the medal, liquored-up and homeward bound..."


    I'm such a sweet thing.
    Shine your light.

  7. #47
    Forum Member The Nazz Are Blue's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    I tried to write lyrics just now. Nothing happened. I guess I need some sort of idea. I'm workin' on it....

  8. #48
    Forum Member frank thomson's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    NAZZ, et al....i'm tellin you....get a micro-recorder....keep it w/ you....just today, i put down 2 killer ideas, and 1 almost complete song dvlmt idea....


    GET ONE.

    for me, it's like those simple things that people say, but they sometimes miss the grander meaning.....hmmmmm.....like, TGIFriday is often shouted by young, and younger, people, but did you ever think how the older generation would view this concept/statement?....hell, to them, it's TGIMonday, or TGITuesday, etc....they're just happy to be above ground!

    see what I'm sayin? everyting is relative...<<see, there's a song!
    Imanidiot.

  9. #49
    Forum Member mgade's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    I "usually" writes stuff on the train without regard for any melody or anything musical at all. Then when a melody or chord progression or whatever hits "tape", I just sings those parts of the lyrics that fits on the melody and skipd the rest :-)

    Do you fellas'n'gals do otherwise? Like working out a complete tune sans words and then write words that fits exactly??

  10. #50
    Forum Member frank thomson's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    re; write w/o a melody...>>>i do that too....prob even more now that i am writing country

    and, even tho musicians don't wanna hear this, 99.9999% of the time, the music is the least-most-important-thing in the country songwriting process. [remember, there's exceptions to every rule!]
    Imanidiot.

  11. #51
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    RESISTANCE

    The thirty-thousand dollar sweet-sixteen show
    Seems obscence to me, but what do I know
    People round the world so desperate
    Getting really hard to keep their heads up

    While some adore wallowing in excess
    Let's slip out the back screen door and jump the express
    Maybe they won't catch us, maybe turn their head
    But I'll bet we'll still feel bad in the morning light

    Throw a billion dollars at the stars
    Space cowboy flying up to Mars
    Don't give a damn about the dying man
    Get your movie deal and hit the bars

    Eighteen billion dollars at the bird flu
    While our neighbors struggle on, well, who knew
    They don't want our pity, and buddy they don't want to die
    They just want to be pain free, 'fore the angels fly

    (welp it's a rough draft, Wut Kan Aysay)
    Shine your light.

  12. #52
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    In vino es nonsensicus
    Last edited by Annie D.; 11-03-2005 at 09:52 AM.
    Shine your light.

  13. #53
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    In vino es nonsensicus
    Last edited by Annie D.; 11-03-2005 at 09:51 AM.
    Shine your light.

  14. #54
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    In vino es nonsensicus
    Last edited by Annie D.; 11-03-2005 at 09:49 AM.
    Shine your light.

  15. #55
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Jesse's got the pickup truck
    And Jesse's sposed to pick her up
    But Jesse hasn't yet showed up
    Cause Jesse's gone away

    She stands outside Del's Cafe
    Refusing rides that go her way
    Cause Jesse said he'd come today
    But Jesse's gone away

    Everybody tried to warn her
    Still she stands there on the corner
    Nothing but the moon to warm her
    Cause Jesse's gone away
    Shine your light.

  16. #56
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    In vino es nonsensicus
    Last edited by Annie D.; 11-03-2005 at 09:48 AM.
    Shine your light.

  17. #57
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    In vino es nonsensicus
    Last edited by Annie D.; 11-03-2005 at 09:47 AM.
    Shine your light.

  18. #58
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    In vino es nonsensicus

    Last edited by Annie D.; 11-03-2005 at 09:45 AM.
    Shine your light.

  19. #59
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    In vino es nonsensicus
    Last edited by Annie D.; 11-03-2005 at 09:43 AM.
    Shine your light.

  20. #60
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    In vino es nonsensicus
    Last edited by Annie D.; 11-03-2005 at 09:42 AM.
    Shine your light.

  21. #61
    Forum Member frank thomson's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Quote Originally Posted by Annie D.
    Jesse's got the pickup truck
    And Jesse's sposed to pick her up
    But Jesse hasn't yet showed up
    Cause Jesse's gone away

    She stands outside Del's Cafe
    Refusing rides that go her way
    Cause Jesse said he'd come today
    But Jesse's gone away

    Everybody tried to warn her
    Still she stands there on the corner
    Nothing but the moon to warm her
    Cause Jesse's gone away
    HOT!^^^

    We might have to make that into a country song. ;)
    ==================================
    ==========================
    Last edited by frank thomson; 11-05-2005 at 04:16 PM.
    Imanidiot.

  22. #62
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    In vino es nonsensicus
    Last edited by Annie D.; 11-03-2005 at 09:42 AM.
    Shine your light.

  23. #63
    Forum Member moonpie's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Nice Annie. I particularly like Jesse's Gone Away:yay
    If you leave the house, you're just asking for it.

  24. #64
    Forum Member Offshore Angler's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    I'm an old-schooler. Why? Because it works. I look at a song structurally, and there isn't a hook, it goes in the trash. The hook can be lyrical or musical, but it MUST be there.

    Themes - MUST be universal an easily identifiable to the listener. 99.9% of originals I hear done by amateurs are so weirdly internalized I have no idea that the singer's message is. Good word-smithing and meter is nice, but not required. Listen to many pop songs and they use poor language skills, nobody cares.

    Another song-killer is the use of "I", as in "I am a rock". Nobody cares about you. People want to apply the song to themselves. The only times to use "I" are when you are telling a story as in "I was driving with my daughter on the way down to Monroe" (Jule); or when the "I" is part of the universal theme which the listener can substitute themselves for as in "I can't get no satisfaction"

    Good songs tell a story. Don't focus on the images for their sake. That's a common blunder. Use the images to tell the story.

    Metaphors only work if the listener knows what you're describing!

    What I look for in a song is when I've heard it, was it a collection of words or was it somebody telling me something? Is the message or story clearly identifiable?
    "No harmonic knowledge, no sense of time, a ghastly tone, unskilled vibrato, and so on. Chuck is one of the worst guitar players I know" -Gravity Jim

  25. #65
    Forum Member Mikey's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Chuck Berry was asked once, a long time ago, where he got his inspiration for songs. His reply was basically...
    Who's buying the records? Right, Kids! Kids like to hear about their lives and the lives of those around them. So I write songs about kids. School dances, first loves and love lives, and lost loves, and cars and jeans and such. I sell a lot of records if I get it right and don't sell any if I don't. Leave the adults with Lawrence Welk and them folk.


    BTW the way, I just can't get this outta my head!
    Just came in from Texas baaaaaby,
    You didn't even know I was around!
    If, at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
    Two leaps per chasm is fatal!

  26. #66
    Forum Member Jesse S.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Angler
    I'm an old-schooler. Why? Because it works. I look at a song structurally, and there isn't a hook, it goes in the trash. The hook can be lyrical or musical, but it MUST be there.
    In general, I agree with you. The "hook" is at the heart of pop music (I would say that's almost the definition of pop). But, I gotta take issue at the idea that this is an objective rule...

    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Angler
    Another song-killer is the use of "I", as in "I am a rock". Nobody cares about you.
    That song did hit #3 in the US charts in 1966, though... And there are LOTS of first-person hits. I think the average pop listener very much does care about "you".

    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Angler
    Good songs tell a story. Don't focus on the images for their sake. That's a common blunder. Use the images to tell the story.

    Metaphors only work if the listener knows what you're describing!
    The narrative song (as perfected by Chuck Berry, for instance) is a great pop style, but I think there have been plenty of hits that stood on the virtue of the music and the lyrical imagery alone.

    Strawberry Fields Forever (UK #2): "No one I think is in my tree; I mean it must be high or low." Huh??? I guess it comes back to the hook - "Let me take you dowwwwwwn..."

    Maybe things were different in the '60s, but I can think of a lot of hits from back then with dense, cryptic lyrics. Hell, Mick Jagger has made a career out of marble-mouthed mumbled inscrutable lyrics. (But I think that's where the musical pop-hook comes in again.)

    I think what I have discovered in writing this reply is that for myself, the musical hook is more important than the lyrics. (Which is funny because when I think of "writing a song" I usually think about writing the lyrics.)

    "It doesn't matter what I say
    So long as I sing with inflection
    That makes you feel that I'll convey
    Some inner truth of vast reflection
    But I've said nothing so far
    And I can keep it up as long as it takes
    And it don't matter who you are
    If I'm doing my job, it's your resolve that breaks
    Because the hook brings you back."

    "The Hook", Blues Traveler (which ironically hit #13 in the US charts)

  27. #67
    Forum Member Jesse S.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Quote Originally Posted by Annie D.
    Jesse's got the pickup truck
    And Jesse's sposed to pick her up
    But Jesse hasn't yet showed up
    Cause Jesse's gone away
    Annie, I like all your songs (really gutsy-feeling), but just for the record:

    I have never owned a pickup truck.
    I will generally attempt to call if I am stuck in traffic or otherwise detained from picking someone up.

    Cheers! ;)

  28. #68
    Gravity Jim
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    No fair, OA! You don't get to lecture on theory without posting some lyrics!!

  29. #69
    Forum Member cooltone's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Keith Richards has described their songwriting style as "vowel movements"
    "If you're cool, you don't know nothin' about it. It just is...or you ain't." - Keith Richards

  30. #70
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    I'd like to apologize for the vowel movements in here last night. Someone came up and made me mad so I got drunk ('cause ayma dumbass once in a while) and posted.

    Never drink and post. Just go into Word and don't save it.

    I actually wrote Jesse many years ago when I was going to be the female Willie Nelson and make a fortune. Wrote it for Crystal Gayle who was the hot country singer at the time.
    Shine your light.

  31. #71
    Gravity Jim
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Heck fire, you don't need Crystal Gayle for that lyric, Annie... there are plenty of young redneck chicks on the air now that would tear that tune up.

    Hey! Why did you take them down? There as no call for that... you know you are among friends. No lie, you've got a poet's ear, dear. Rhyming "warn 'er" and "corner?" "Nothing but the moon to warm her?" Dang, girl! That passes the Chill Test over here at Gravity World HQ.

    I need to dig around and find that lyric you inspired me to write back when we were both loopy outsiders at T.O.P. :) Entitled "When The Moon Goes Out." I still really like that thing, but there are a couple of key words that I can't access in memory... gotta go find the hard drive, so to speak. I'll post it when I find it....

  32. #72
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Maybe I'll just stick to Moon Songs.

    "When my baby's out of town and there's no-one else around
    You know the moon goes out...sumpin' sumpin' sumpin'..."

    "In his top hat and tails...sumpin, sumpin, sumpin'..."
    Shine your light.

  33. #73
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Count me as one who digs Jesse's Gone Away...that's some fine writin'!

    Here's an old one to chew on, imagine some Ry Cooderish/semi-ragtime music behind it:

    Midnight Rural Blues

    Take me back home, I could use the rest
    Put my watch on the dresser and unbutton my vest
    Turn the radio on to some midnight rural blues

    Hand me my glass and I will take a sip
    A little bourbon and water just to loosen my lip
    We'll spend the rest of the night conversing and exchanging views

    Don't burden my brow with trouble and doubt
    Those are worries I can live without
    Just turn down the lamp and softly call my name

    It's easy to live in the world today
    Just forget about makin' it anyway
    Put the bad times away and the good times will remain

    Take me back home, I could use the rest
    Put my watch on the dresser and unbutton my vest
    Turn the radio on to some midnight rural blues

    copyright Mark Gordon BMI 1985 blah blah blah
    The free things in life are best.

  34. #74
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Put my watch on the dresser and unbutton my vest
    I digz that line. The tune reminds me of the state of mind in Goose Creek's "Right Track" one of the alltime best "tired and goin' home" tunes.

    See Jim dig through his pile of tunes trying to find his "Moon Goes Out" tune.
    Shine your light.

  35. #75
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Thanks, Annie. The older I get, the more I get that "tired and goin' home" feeling.
    Guess that's the way it's supposed to be, although I ain't quite ready to be put out to pasture just yet. I sure do enjoy slowin' down and enjoying the view a little bit more, though.
    The free things in life are best.

  36. #76
    Forum Member chuckocaster's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    :yay

    i dig the lyrics, very tasty.
    "don't worry, i'm a professional!"

  37. #77
    Forum Member Annie D.'s Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    "I tried and I failed, now I'm tired & weary..."

    Dear Chucko Bunny; why you so down on yerselp?
    Shine your light.

  38. #78
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Chucko, thanks for the thumbs up, buddy.
    The free things in life are best.

  39. #79
    Forum Member music-n-motorcycle's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    Here is a song that has been very well recieved by crowds and there is really nothing to it. it is in a twelve bar progression and sound like traditional rock n roll.

    SWEET WADDLE BOP

    SOME MEN SAY THEY WANT A SKINNY LASS
    BUT GIVE ME A WOMAN WITH A BIG ROUND “*”(that would be a rimshot on the snare)

    WE’LL DO THE SWEET WADDLE BOP
    WE’LL DO THE SWEET WADDLE BOP

    WE’LL PUT ON OUR DANCIN’ CLOTHES
    AND ROLL AROUND ON THE FLOOR
    AND DO THE SWEET WADDLE BOP


    SATURDAY NIGHT AROUND ELEVEN O’CLOCK
    SHE SAY’S LET’S KEEP ROLLIN’ AND I SAY DON’T STOP

    WE’LL DO THE SWEET WADDLE BOP
    WE’LL DO THE SWEET WADDLE BOP

    WE’LL PUT ON OUR DANCIN’ CLOTHES
    AND ROLL AROUND ON THE FLOOR
    AND DO THE SWEET WADDLE BOP

    SWEET WADDLE BOP

    SWEET WADDLE BOP

    SWEET WADDLE BOP

    SWEET WADDLE BOP

    SWEET WADDLE BOP

    SWEET WADDLE BOP
    4:20, my favorite time of day.

  40. #80
    Forum Member Rickenjangle's Avatar
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    Re: songwriters' lounge

    OSA, I think that "I" in songwriting is just fine. Sometimes the song needs to be told from a first-person perspective. I do agree that the themes need to be universal...a good example of a universal 1st person narrative that succeeds is "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2.

    I believe that more than anything else, it is the hook - whether it's vocal or instrumental - that really "makes" a song.

    "I'm gonna find myself a girl
    that can show me what laughter means
    And we'll fill in the missing colors
    In each other's paint-by-number dreams..."

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