I Made A Tough Decision Today

I've been praying and meditating over this for the past week. I came to my decision yesterday, but today still wasn't sure I'd go through with it. But I did.

As some of you know, I went overboard on bass guitar, quickly adding three to my collection, and an amp to go with them. I've had a lot of fun with them.

But over the weeks since I started, I've come to the realization that bass guitar isn't just two less strings and a couple of octaves lower, it's a completely different instrument. And I've stretched myself too thin.

For about half a year now, I've been taking weekly guitar lessons, and even though at times I feel I'm not where I want to be, I also understand that I have to go back to the basics before I can improve to the point I want to.

Trying to work a full-time job as well as a part-time job, and practice two instruments is beyond my capabilities and time constraints. In addition, I'm having to increase my physical activity because my new doctor thinks my cholesterol and blood sugar levels are too high. That last one troubles me, as I'm far from overweight, don't drink sugared drinks, avoid fried foods, and feel I'm generally healthy. I digress.

This morning I met with the band leader and told him I had decided to not pursue joining the band.

At first, he tried to persuade me to reconsider, but I held firm. Guys, this was extremely hard, as the opportunity to join a band as a "green" bassist doesn't come along very often, I'm sure you'll agree.

We left the door open for me to change my mind, and I appreciate his willingness to accept me. But we all know doors don't stay open forever.

I'll be straight.

The guys know you and your level of skills and want you in the band. You want to be in the band, or you wouldn't be calling it a "tough" decision.

Playing in a band is one of the most soul-healthy and rejuvenating things one can do in a lifetime, if you really love music.

And you DO have time to do all that.

I'm a 40 year old lawyer who works his butt off, got a young daughter who needs my attention (and I need hers too, I love her) and her mother is always pissing me off, got a girlfriend to care about, work out every morning before work and play in a professional band. Oh and the band I play in is based about 100 miles from my hometown where I live and work. I hit the road EVERY WEEK to rehearse and gig.

I am no virtuoso and started playing electric guitar late, in my early 30s. Every guitar player in town can play circles around me, but I don't give a damn, that doesn't stop me from being a well known professional guitarist in the local musical scene... Hell, Johnny Ramone was famous, and he played mostly powerchords with downstrokes. It's all about having fun and having the attitude. Talented or not, dedicated or not, you'll figure it out along the way, just enjoy the ride.

So, with sugar and a cherry on top: Cut the cr@p, call them and say you're in. :mad:

:yah:

best of luck with your decision

Being in a band is a huge commitment.

If there is any doubt in your mind then don't do it. Not fair to the other guys.

Chuck

That would be a tough one. I picked up a few basses because I used to play them quite a bit. We rotated lead, rhythm and bass in my last serious band. Everyone was pretty good at each. I was probably the worst at lead but passable on a few songs. Best at rhythm at the time but by the end of it maybe bass was slightly better. These days though I am not getting enough playing/practicing time so the basses don't come out often but I would be loath not to do it if I had the chance in a band. Surprisingly I have a tendency to spend more time at lead when practicing now when I should be doing more rhythm because it was my best part and I think very necessary as most bands need the fill...

I've seen too many that neglect it and they can sound repetitious after a few sets.

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Originally Posted by Sérgio

So, with sugar and a cherry on top: Cut the cr@p, call them and say you're in. :mad:

:yah:

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Thank you, my brother Sérgio! I don't recall saying that I was closing the door on the opportunity, and that we both left it open. It's just that right now it just doesn't "feel right."

Today, after services, I went up to the band leader and told him, "I did something different today. Instead of watching the guitar player, I was counting time." We then shard a high-five!

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Originally Posted by OldStrummer

Thank you, my brother Sérgio! I don't recall saying that I was closing the door on the opportunity, and that we both left it open. It's just that right now it just doesn't "feel right."

Today, after services, I went up to the band leader and told him, "I did something different today. Instead of watching the guitar player, I was counting time." We then shard a high-five!

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Yeah, you say you both left the door open, but you know that doors don't stay open for too long.

So, take my advice. If you're really feeling good with your decision, by all means, stay true to it. If your heart is uneasy, I mean even slightly, then take your place in the band and just let things roll.

Maybe I inadvertedly owe you an apology. I didn't mean to break your convictions. At all. You see, I struggled a LOT to become a gigging musician and when the first real band invited me, I wasn't ready. Not even near ready. I couldn't solo 5 notes. But I grabbed it, as nervous and musically stammering as I was. Best thing I ever did. So my natural tendency is to encourage every one of my friends to do the same.

I know, though, that everyone is different and we all have our own rhythm. :dude

OS, you have to do what feels best to you. And I'd support you no matter what decision you make.

But there's a lot to be said about what you can learn on the spot. And along with that, just listening to bass lines on recordings helped me to be a better bassist. After you play very BASSically at first, you start to learn bass playing idioms. Then when you hear records, you start to recognize what you're doing, and you start to see what the pros do with those basics to take the game up a level. You can catch on.

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Originally Posted by Sérgio

Yeah, you say you both left the door open, but you know that doors don't stay open for too long.

So, take my advice. If you're really feeling good with your decision, by all means, stay true to it. If your heart is uneasy, I mean even slightly, then take your place in the band and just let things roll.

Maybe I inadvertedly owe you an apology. I didn't mean to break your convictions. At all. You see, I struggled a LOT to become a gigging musician and when the first real band invited me, I wasn't ready. Not even near ready. I couldn't solo 5 notes. But I grabbed it, as nervous and musically stammering as I was. Best thing I ever did. So my natural tendency is to encourage every one of my friends to do the same.

I know, though, that everyone is different and we all have our own rhythm. :dude

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No apology needed, Sérgio. I know some people have left this place due to ruffled feathers, but mine are a whole lot tougher. If we can't speak our minds here, what's the point of being here?

To your first point: I read on another forum the following, and it so rings true to me. And I think to you: "You will never get good at playing in an ensemble if you don't play in an ensemble..."

The good news is I see the band leader every week, so we can both revisit this in time. I have some other stuff I need to take care of, first...

Thanks, you're one of the guys I really like in here, and I wouldn't want to displease you in any way.

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Originally Posted by Sérgio

Thanks, you're one of the guys I really like in here, and I wouldn't want to displease you in any way.

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Ditto. But I think we can always agree to disagree, as long as we're civil about it.

There are three types of guitarist in Guitar Center. The kid's who detune the #6E, and loudly play 50 different intros to current songs. They have no talent and no taste. But they are bold. Then another is the one who will quietly, almost inaudibly tune for a few minutes. Then gently play a few open chords, a few single notes of no distinction, then puts the guitar back on the wall attempting to go unnoticed. And the third is a mature player. He quickly passes a keen eye over the instrument noting any imperfection, then tunes by ear. He'll check intonation if it sounds off, but will play something of his own creation, or a long ago classic. He's neither timid nor overbearing. He's listening to the instrument's tone and texture. It's soul, if you will.

But there are two types of band members. Leaders and followers. All join to play. Some live to be seen and heard. Some enjoy the company of the band and play to be a part of something bigger than themselves. But all want to entertain in the end. You join because you choose to. Not because you think you must. Some are not destined to be in a band, but are accomplished musicians. It is a matter of choice.

A continuation of the above...

People are like water. They seek and find their own level. Some are constantly moving and noticed like waves crashing into shore. Others are content to make up the body of water that supports the waves. But all are part of the whole. Some waves move and propel things. Other waves are destructive, they smash things in their path. But the larger body of water supplies quiet strength to both.

If you don't have the desire to join, then don't. You will never succeed without motivation. If, on the other hand, you have this sense of fulfilment clawing away from within to step up and play, then go. The worst that will happen is you hit a bad note now and then. But that is up to you. Not a soul here will utter a word against you for your choice, either way. We do not judge, only support.

Thank you, @Old Ranger. Sage words, indeed.

:sign11: I think instead of trying out for the job of neighborhood drunk, I believe that I'm going to shoot for the Dalai Llama job. Wonder what it pays?:hmm:laughing:

Naw, you're good. Always got your six covered. :cool:

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Originally Posted by Old Ranger

I think instead of trying out for the job of neighborhood drunk, I believe that I'm going to shoot for the Dalai Llama job. Wonder what it pays?:hmm:laughing:

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Not as much as neighborhood drunk!

Fooie! Then I'm not surprised. Both are crummy jobs anyway. Tibet? What was I thinking? :bonk:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Old Ranger

:sign11: I think instead of trying out for the job of neighborhood drunk, I believe that I'm going to shoot for the Dalai Llama job. Wonder what it pays?:hmm:laughing:

Naw, you're good. Always got your six covered. :cool:

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The Dali Llama would have more likely pointed out that water is content to seek out the low places. It stays soft and yet can dissolve the hardest things with enough time. Then he would tell you to unlearn what the outside has taught you and to look for the knowledge within yourself.

Me? I prefer a much more civilized approach. I'll just pull out a bottle of bourbon, pour us each one and we'll work it all out together.


Chuck

I was the Dalai Lama once, but they kicked me out for breaking moral laws. You see, I loved the mountain goat races so I liked Tibet too much.