Gibsons? Yuck!

Gibsons are probably the ugliest and most awkward to play guitars ever made. The L5 looks like a sloppy lard ass without a muscle in its flab. The SG is atrocious with its owl ear horns, like it's some kind of tough demon. Even Link Wray was ashamed to play one, and if he had had more than one hit, he'd have bought a Woolworth's plywood special. And speaking of "specials" and "studios"--that's just Gibson's way of telling you that you can't afford the real thing. 335's are almost the worst. The body's are so wide they remind me of my ex-wife's barn-sized ass.

But the worst is the Les Paul. Sure, they sound great and are wonderful to play. But just look at it with real guitars. I'd feel prouder if I had a guitar shaped mold of compressed vomit.

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/...dfe88aea_b.jpg

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Originally Posted by Ken Fortunato

The biggest problem, with all of those, is they're facing the wrong way... :wah: :laughing: :salud:

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I agree. Their mothers took nasty medicines during gestation. Think of the Les Paul as putrid afterbirth.

BLOW ME!

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Originally Posted by phantomman

BLOW ME!

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Hahaha.

Rog, don't you want to share your pics of those toothpick quality things Gibson calls guitars?

I've bet you've got some that would make me drool but not because they really ARE great and I love them but because I'm getting old and just drool.

Originally I wanted my screen name to be GibsonJunk - but it was already taken.

GibsonJunk would have been the perfect name, but "junky" is good enough cos it shows you're addicted to "junk". Good you can admit it. I appreciate what you've done for the guitar world, corralling a bunch of those ugly pieces of junk to keep them out of circulation. Good man, you should buy another every time you see one, keep the world safe from them. We appreciate your service and your sacrifice. Thoughts and Wares.

Holy screed! I can't imagine how this brick came into my possession. It even looks like brick. Friggin' G-Force tuning, coil-splitting, metal knobs with abalone inlays, Burst Bucker PAF pickups. What a freak! Eww.

https://photos.smugmug.com/Guitar-Lo...06.50.40-L.jpg

Fred, the bathroom counter called and wants its top back. I wouldn't be surprised to see toothpaste spittle and tiny bits of spinach stuck to that top. Do you clean it with Lysol tub and tile? Clean it with a scrub brush and a sponge? Find yourself shaving over it? Did you get it at a building supply store in the plumbing section? Did Lowe's have someone to install it for you?

Have you ever had a tick stuck on you? You know, those nasty little disease-carrying insects that are almost impossible to remove? Well, that's this Gibson. It attached itself to me over 40 years ago and I haven't been able to shake it loose. Dang nasty critter!

https://photos.smugmug.com/Guitar-Lo...-ES225-4-L.jpg

If you look at syphilis under a microscope, you'll see that exact shape, size, and color.

The first time I saw my ‘59 ES-345 was in 1964 when my friend traded it for a new cherry red 345. I jonesed for this guitar for 25 years until I finally had the opportunity to buy it in 1990.

https://scontent-ort2-2.xx.fbcdn.net...8c&oe=5EECC4A6

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Originally Posted by Laker

The first time I saw my ‘59 ES-345 was in 1964 when my friend traded it for a new cherry red 345. I jonesed for this guitar for 25 years until I finally had the opportunity to buy it in 1990.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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You should have held out another 25 years, and you know what that means for us aging folks.

Oh, it's really beautiful and probably sounds great, but I had a beautiful girlfriend who turned out to be a meth addict. I'm not saying your guitar is involved in anything illegal, but it looks like it would be if I had the chance.

A few years ago I sneezed, and out popped this booger, which took the shape of a 1998 Gibson LP Special. I've never been able to clean up the mess it made.

https://photos.smugmug.com/Guitar-Lo...7.28.41-XL.jpg

When I was 19, I worked the overnight shift at a convenience store (brrrr). Once in the heat of August, the manager had thrown away four full chickens that had gone bad. The dumpster people missed ours that week, and each day in that dutch oven under the Tennessee sun, those chickens smelled more and more foul. By the time the dumpster people came, it smelled so strongly of death that I gagged when i had to go outside.

I hadn't felt that feelings until I saw your "Special" guitar. Best metaphor for that experience that I can think of.

I always thought the Les Paul was modelled after Gary McBurney’s swimming pool!

That would explain the neck dive. Yar yar yar!

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Originally Posted by dirtdog

I always thought the Les Paul was modelled after Gary McBurney’s swimming pool!

That would explain the neck dive. Yar yar yar!

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Oops. Haha

Ha ha. I live in fear of breaking the headstock on my Les Paul. My Hofner had suffered it and had been repaired. You can't even tell it, and it's so well repaired that I don't even think about it.

I love Gibsons, and I think they're still putting out fantastic guitars. Maybe the "golden age" has passed, but my 2012 is so well constructed and is such a lovely instrument.

I'm just pissed at Gibson that they haven't made any new lefties in 2 years. I'm GASsing bad for a 63 reissue 335, block inlays, cherry finish (I'd take any other color, but I just don't want a sunburst 335).

Not a lefty, not a sunburst, and not cherry, but just as bad. Memphis hated it so bad it threw it out.

https://photos.smugmug.com/Guitar-Lo...TinyAmp-XL.jpg

i want to take it and love it hard. It looks like a slut.

Doesn't "SG" stand for "Sucky Guitar?" This is one of the suckiest. Its twin, the black sheep of the pair, won't even step into the light.


https://photos.smugmug.com/Guitar-Lo...1.04.48-XL.jpg

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Originally Posted by OldStrummer

Doesn't "SG" stand for "Sucky Guitar?" This is one of the suckiest. Its twin, the black sheep of the pair, won't even step into the light.


https://photos.smugmug.com/Guitar-Lo...1.04.48-XL.jpg

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Kindling

Dang! They must be like gremlins; you don't see or hear from them, but just mention their name...

Finally out of the closet, shamelessly hawking its Steinberger™ gearless tuners and its "zebra coil" '57 Classic humbuckers. Pee yew!

https://photos.smugmug.com/Guitar-Lo...1.32.46-X2.jpg

I....I....I can't do it anymore. I'm so overwhelmed by the beauty of all the Gibsons on this thread, that my heart is bursting into song,

"I love Gibsons, yes I do. I was only kidding, they're not really poo...."

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Originally Posted by ch willie

I....I....I can't do it anymore. I'm so overwhelmed by the beauty of all the Gibsons on this thread, that my heart is bursting into song,

"I love Gibsons, yes I do. I was only kidding, they're not really poo...."

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My new theme song!!!

You want phtots? Here we are in order of acquisition...

1971 J-40 (phtot taken around 1974)

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net...d4&oe=5EEC46F5

2014 Les Paul Special AAA Flame Top with F-Hole, 2001 Gary Moore Les Paul. 2011 Les Paul Traditional Pro Goldtop, 2003 Les Paul Faded Double Cutaway

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net...7b&oe=5EED7F00


2001 ES 335

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net...07&oe=5EEB536B

2001 Hummingbird

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net...e9&oe=5EED867C

2003 J-200

https://scontent.fbed1-1.fna.fbcdn.n...ad&oe=5EED5714

2016 HP 665 SB (bought off the Gibson Bus - I'm pretty sure it was a prototype) They shipped me the pickguard and case after the fact).
https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net...77&oe=5EEB536A

Aren't they hideous???

Too much greatness for one man to own.

Well, some people buy guitars based upon how they look. Others purchase them based upon how they play and sound.

Sure a Tele is like a Top Fuel dragster, but a Les Paul is Formula 1.

I love the look and feel of a Les Paul. And the sound - well, NOTHING else sounds like a Les Paul. It's the Iconic Sound of Power and Southern Rock.


Chuck

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Originally Posted by Offshore Angler

Well, some people buy guitars based upon how they look. Others purchase them based upon how they play and sound.

Sure a Tele is like a Top Fuel dragster, but a Les Paul is Formula 1.

I love the look and feel of a Les Paul. And the sound - well, NOTHING else sounds like a Les Paul. It's the Iconic Sound of Power and Southern Rock.


Chuck

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I think of my Tele as a blue jeans and t-shirt guitar. I think of the Les Paul as a wicked suit and tie guitar, an uptown Sat'd'y night guitar.

You guys are much too kind. I'm on a Fender site because given a choice, I'd pick a Fender over a Gibson. Any day.

(Fortunately, I don't have to make that choice, so I own both!). :spin:

Thanks, Ken. I've got to go in for a lobotomy now.

Aboot a tenth of them I have. I usually stack them NEXT to the fireplace in cordwood fashion to make 'em easier to burn on a cold night.

https://live.staticflickr.com/4369/3...bfe2f8e_4k.jpg

How did I not see this sooner?

Renderit, I've never seen a guitar player more realistic--keeping the guitars close to the fireplace is just genius. I kept my first two kids by the fireplace and when I realized I didn't like either one of them, I used them for kindling and made two more kids that I liked. But I kept them by the fireplace for two years just to make sure.

BTW, Mr. renderTit,

I'm tired of lusting after all your guitars. I made my living in Europe by stealing old paintings and replacing them with Sponge Bob posters.

I might have to turn to a life of crime again to get some guitars like yours. Thanks for contributing to my recidivism.