Considering a break from music

As I've said on these pages, I have a lot of trouble with anxiety and depression. Lately I've noticed that playing guitar doesn't give me as much pleasure as I used to get. And the whole business of writing songs that I am struggling to record and that can't be played live because I can't find musicians close enough to my town who can play them--all of this is giving me anxiety.

I'm not fishing for anything, and I don't want pity. I guess I just wanted to finally express what's been going through my brain.

I'm thinking of taking a month's break from even touching my keyboard or guitars. Maybe by then, I'll have the desire to play again.

I'm still waiting for live jamming with people via internet that was promised so many years ago. That way you don't even have to be in the same town/city, state or country. You could find compatible musos anywhere and play. Providing you aren't in such different time zones that somebody has to forego sleep :D

I wouldn't worry about not touching your stuff for a month, I've gone longer myself more times than I care to think about. The biggest problem is getting the rust off and the calluses back. I do find my enthusiasm is amped up when I come back. Maybe you need a break. Don't worry about the music not being played because you don't have the right musicians in the area. They're out there, looking for you too. When you're ready, get back out again.

Taking a break is something most of us do from time to time, Willie. If you feel like you need a break, just take it easy and spend some time doing something else.

Just don't EVER call it retirement from your music. It's just a break and you will probably come back playing better and more relaxed.

Good luck. We all need time off from time to time. Wish the anxiety was not there though. If I were there I would love to take lessons from you.

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Originally Posted by ch willie

As I've said on these pages, I have a lot of trouble with anxiety and depression. Lately I've noticed that playing guitar doesn't give me as much pleasure as I used to get. And the whole business of writing songs that I am struggling to record and that can't be played live because I can't find musicians close enough to my town who can play them--all of this is giving me anxiety.

I'm not fishing for anything, and I don't want pity. I guess I just wanted to finally express what's been going through my brain.

I'm thinking of taking a month's break from even touching my keyboard or guitars. Maybe by then, I'll have the desire to play again.

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This is just a thought for you to consider. Don't worry about writing and recording original material. I'd guess, like a lot of us, you got into playing music by listening to recordings and then trying to emulate what you're hearing and then, over time, you became comfortable with being on stage with friends/players that were at (or near) your same skill level and the joy of the moment was born as music is created by you and your friends.

I played in a group that was, technically, so rehearsed/accurate that I lost the thrill of being on stage; it became the importance of the ability to recreate that same show/energy night after night that took the enjoyment of being a musician away from me. Getting back to playing an intimate club/room and having fun doing it told me that sometimes you just have to get back to your roots and enjoy that initial moment once again.

I play because I love it and it makes me feel better.

I play what I want to and when I want to.

But, I don't play everyday anymore.

A month off goes by so quickly.

The music is there, always patiently waiting.

Thanks, guys. I appreciate the support.

Willie,
I think you're asking the wrong question. I think you need to ask why you play music. Sounds like your trying to accomplish something, it's not happening and you're frustrated.

If you're playing so much you feel burned out a vacation from it is a good thing. If it's because you're not meeting some goal you set, stopping won't make things any better.

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Originally Posted by CoyotesGator

A month off goes by so quickly.

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does it ever, man I can't believe how fast time is flying these days

Best of luck to you CHW. A month off may work for you, and I hope it does!!

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Originally Posted by Offshore Angler

Willie,
I think you're asking the wrong question. I think you need to ask why you play music. Sounds like your trying to accomplish something, it's not happening and you're frustrated.

If you're playing so much you feel burned out a vacation from it is a good thing. If it's because you're not meeting some goal you set, stopping won't make things any better.

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I admit that I have goals that aren't being accomplished, and that's part of it, or maybe the most part of it. But I'm also just having trouble sitting down with the Martin, strumming, and feeling comfort and joy in the playing--no goals, just playing and singing.

At the moment, just passing by my music room is giving me anxiety, so I think the answer for now is just to take a break and to hope that I'll feel better about it all.

Sometimes you just have to float a little before you start moving again.

I've had short periods where music didn't feel very important or inspirational but it always came back spontaneously. If you remain in this frame of mind indefinitely then I only hope that you can root your heart into something else... something positive, thought-provoking, satisfying, etc. Music will be there for you whenever you want it back. Good luck with this, man and I really hope that you still come here whenever you feel inclined.

Can I make a suggestion? If you take a month off from playing, please make a note on your calendar, or something. Just to remind you.

The last time I took a month off from guitar playing, it lasted 30 years. I'm not kidding.

Guitar ( music in general) is ultimately unsatisfying, so a diversion from it is not only normal but necessary sometimes. Other hobbies, interests, & studies should be undertaken to maintain balance in ones life

Thanks, guys. Yeah, I think this break is something I need. I think a month will do me good. I'm reading a lot these days, not writing stories or music for a bit. Maybe after this month I'll have a desire to play again. Playing guitar has saved me so many times, so I know those guitars will be there for me again, just not right now.

This is probably going to sound really stupid, but bear with me. I have also gone through spates with this exact feeling. One thing that helped me recently, as weird as it sounds, is deciding to learn a new language. Duolingo is free on just about every platform there is (Mac, PC, iPhone, Android, etc.) and they offer a ton of languages to work on. Their program is so easy to use and really kind of satisfying if you do even like 10 minutes per day.

I grew up speaking/understanding Greek, and I took several years of Spanish in high school, but all of that was so long ago that most of it faded away. I started last year on Duolingo with Spanish, just figuring it would help me out with things at work. Eventually I started working on Greek too, and even did a little Welsh, because the Mrs. and I were watching some Netflix BBC thing set in Wales, and I figured, why not?

My point is that two things happened. First, it gave me a distraction--something else to think about--and like I said, the program/app makes you feel like you've really accomplished something just about every day.

Second, something about learning a new language (or even relearning) must have made some dusty, old synapses start firing in my brain again, and suddenly practicing guitar didn't feel like a chore, and some new ideas I've been working on finally started to gain some traction in my fingers.

Just a suggestion. For a five or ten minute commitment each day, I find the rewards are pretty huge.

YMMV. I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV. Etc. :headbange

Thanks for the info on duolingo, @PC. I grew up speaking German and English, and my German is so rusty even Naval Jelly wouldn't cure it. I'm going to look into duolingo!

PC,

I speak French and German and have actually been going back through French lately to study what I forgot when I learned it years ago. I'm proud that this summer I read Camus's The Plague in French. It is a good distraction, and I do plan on working on my French especially right now.

I also have begun to read more novels in English. This summer I've read a lot of Maugham, and now I'm on my second Thomas Pynchon novel--read Gravity's Rainbow, V, and others a while back but have just finished Against the Day and am currently reading Vineland. Reading is also a good distraction.

Thanks for the advice--I really appreciate all of you responding to what is my personal dilemma.

A break can be a good thing, clear your head and reassess the situation. I used to write a lot of songs and then didn't. I was frustrated at first but not anymore. Sometimes you have to look at things differently and find joy in something else. Would I like to be writing songs again? Of course! But I can't force anything, because I never like the results. I also haven't been too inspired to build guitars. So to take up the slack I've been building and modifying pedals. It's not my first love, but is fun and keeps my mind off of the lack of guitar building.

As I told you in a PM, I've fought depression my whole life. Music is one outlet for me to either work through it or distract me from my thoughts. Maybe you can find something else related to music that you enjoy? Just a thought, as I'm the LAST person to tell anyone WHAT they should do or HOW they should feel.

Best of luck to you amigo! :dude

Chucko,

I appreciate you so much, brother. I've actually written 6 new songs over the summer, and I guess my issue with that is just that I'm frustrated about not being able to get them recorded because of my frustration with the technology. But I'm going to correct that situation, give up on the Mac, and get my old PC fixed--I could record with it with no problems.

My real frustration with the guitar is just that I'm not enjoying it as much. I haven't played in a week, and it's okay. I had the desire to play yesterday but decided that I need to just let it go for a full month, just to see if the desire can come back full force. In the meantime, I'm working hard at my job and in the afternoons and evenings, I'm spending a lot of time reading.

Again, you're a good friend. I wish we lived close so that we could have a good cup of coffee together sometimes.

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Originally Posted by ch willie

Chucko,

I appreciate you so much, brother. I've actually written 6 new songs over the summer, and I guess my issue with that is just that I'm frustrated about not being able to get them recorded because of my frustration with the technology. But I'm going to correct that situation, give up on the Mac, and get my old PC fixed--I could record with it with no problems.

My real frustration with the guitar is just that I'm not enjoying it as much. I haven't played in a week, and it's okay. I had the desire to play yesterday but decided that I need to just let it go for a full month, just to see if the desire can come back full force. In the meantime, I'm working hard at my job and in the afternoons and evenings, I'm spending a lot of time reading.

Again, you're a good friend. I wish we lived close so that we could have a good cup of coffee together sometimes.

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I found that working with someone else to do the recording lets me focus on the music. It's not cheap (but also not crazy-expensive), but the expertise is worth it. I can focus on the music and they do all the rest...

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Originally Posted by gibsonjunkie

I found that working with someone else to do the recording lets me focus on the music. It's not cheap (but also not crazy-expensive), but the expertise is worth it. I can focus on the music and they do all the rest...

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Yeah, I'd love to have somebody to run the equipment while I do my thing. Might get someone to do that in exchange for letting them record their stuff while I engineer for them. Good advice, GJ.

I wish I knew people interested in recording and playing music. A 'scratch my back, i'll scratch yours' partnership like that would be immensely helpful. it isn't easy being on both sides of the mic, so to speak. I'm doing it because I want to know what constitutes a good recording. I can say this much, it is as much a skill as learning to play an instrument. If you want to be good at it, you have to do it a LOT. Right now I'm doing a little of each, which isn't really getting me anywhere. I know friends who play but maybe they are self-conscious about their abilities and are reluctant to be captured on tape so I don't get much opportunity to play audio engineer full time.

I needed a break a couple of years ago. I do all the booking, all the sound, hold all the practices at my house, and I am everyone's personal psychiatrist. After 14 years of dealing with all that, the singer of 10 years quit on me mid gig. So, I became the ONLY vocalist. I was burnt out totally. So I decided to take a break.... No practicing, no calling around for bookings, none of that stuff. But, my phone kept ringing with new gigs and offers for fill in work. So I never took a break. I found out that I love to play music more than anything. What I did was take a break from making the phone calls and trips to the venues and band practices. What I am getting at is that for me, it was everything else that I had to take a break from. Music is my escape. Instead of going to different venues to look for work, I started visiting open mic nights. There are some good ones and some bad ones, but if I don't feel like playing, I don't. If I feel like playing, I play with whatever group of guys I am asked to play with.
I think you are like me. You need a break from the routine you got into, not music. Whatever you decide to do is cool. Just don't sell off your gear!!! Good luck!!!

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Originally Posted by Offshore Angler

Willie,
I think you're asking the wrong question. I think you need to ask why you play music. Sounds like your trying to accomplish something, it's not happening and you're frustrated.

If you're playing so much you feel burned out a vacation from it is a good thing. If it's because you're not meeting some goal you set, stopping won't make things any better.

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Offshore,

It's because I'm not finding pleasure in a lot of things that usually give me pleasure. I have hope that it will change. I went to my doc yesterday, and he has upped the dose of one of my medicines. I know medicines aren't always the answer, but in this case, it's a chronic thing that requires medication.

Certainly I want to be a better guitarist--which for me means that I want to learn more about chord theory so that I can apply it to my songwriting and to the way I use chords.

I'm just hoping that I'll start to take interest in things with the enthusiam that I used to have. I love playing music; it's often saved me during hard times, but I also want to find joy in things. It's not just the guitar for which I'm lacking enthusiam. I'm having a hard time finding joy in the little and big things I used to take pleasure in. 6 months ago, I was crippled by anxiety and depression--I'm better because I have little anxiety now, but I haven't got my enthusiasm back and just expect disaster around every corner. I can't shake the feeling that everything is going to ruin, when it's not. I've struggled with that on and off for 40+ years, but when the meds work, I have a more balanced outlook on these sorts of things, and my enthusiasm returns.

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Originally Posted by concert410

I think you are like me. You need a break from the routine you got into, not music. Whatever you decide to do is cool. Just don't sell off your gear!!! Good luck!!!

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Thanks man. No chance I'll sell a stick of gear--I know that my enthusiasm and joy will return. I guess I just need the break. After a little more than a week, I feel a bit of a desire to play, but I'm just self imposing a break. It may not last an entire month. Just looking for a bit of lightheartedness to return so that I can enjoy things again.

Thanks man. Just a thought, maybe you can draft someone from a local college music department? That was pretty normal where I went to school. All of us working on our sound degrees worked in outside studios or live sound. Usually kids that age are dying for more hands on time with gear. And it should work out for both parties, you get to concentrate on making music and they get to spend time engineering

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Originally Posted by chuckocaster

Thanks man. Just a thought, maybe you can draft someone from a local college music department? That was pretty normal where I went to school. All of us working on our sound degrees worked in outside studios or live sound. Usually kids that age are dying for more hands on time with gear. And it should work out for both parties, you get to concentrate on making music and they get to spend time engineering

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We don't have such a department here, but we do have a "media club," and perhaps I can draft someone from there.

That might work. I didn't know how close you lived to a college.

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Originally Posted by chuckocaster

That might work. I didn't know how close you lived to a college.

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I'm an English professor here at our community college of about 4000 students. I wish we had a decent music department. We're about 2 hours away from any substantial university.

Everybody does "something" for the enjoyment, the pleasure, the rush, the satisfaction.......
Could be reading, writing, hiking, photography, hookers, drugs or food....... just to name a few (ok maybe sex and not hookers..... Just checking to see if you were paying attention).

That being said, what pleasure you derive from your chosen or in some cases, not chosen vice, is probably based on the "itch" getting scratched, or something mundane blocking it from reaching that part of your being that needs satisfied.

Sometimes, I pick up an instrument and just play a few minutes, a lick, a groove, something familiar, or maybe something new comes to me. It is probably the equivalent of a cigarette to me (yes I smoked for years and can relate) and it fills a niche for a while. Sometimes, I want more, maybe a couple of familiar songs or grooves to cut loose on, or better yet playing with the band, for an all out getting something out of my system for a while kind of session.

Recently I began working with a solo-songwriter going a couple of duos with him. ALL new material. I like the material, and its challanging learning it. Its HIS original material, so I try to respect that in trying to keep it as he plays it, but sometimes, I add creative, musical/melodic bass lines but ask his opinion before I get too carried away. He has been ecstatic that someone listened enough to offer that for him. I dig that and work harder...... This satisfies my creative needs, and I have also put together a couple of original arrangements, but no real vocals for it. That frustrates me, but I am ok to let it sit on the sidelines. They are cool tunes, arrangements, whatever......but I don't see them ever really being "Complete" I know that this would absolutely KILL some people, but it doesn't hit me that way. I made recordings of them for a couple of performers, in hopes that come colllaboration might occur, but not as of yet. Again - I am not bothered by it.


I say all that to say this........
If it isn't enjoyable, don't make it "work". You may come to despise it. If it needs to sit in the sidelines to ferment, let it. The voice in your soul will tell you what to do. The ones in your head..... they just want to stir stuff up ......don't listen to them on this.

That is everything I know -
From the Book of Ken, Chapter 20-11, Paragraph 13, little letter ii

Thanks, Kenny. I'm sure the desire to play will return. I'm just going to keep this break up for a bit, and maybe my head will clear.

Ok Willie... are ya ready??????

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Originally Posted by concert410

Ok Willie... are ya ready??????

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Hey, man. I've been on the acoustic a bit. It was pleasurable. I think I'm just going to play my acoustic for a while, let the electrics rest a while longer unless I get inspired. Years ago, I used to play the acoustic about 80% of the time, and I had a great time. Over the years, I've gotten into the habit of electrics, so it's time to unplug for a while and just enjoy the beauty of the Martin.

Ok cool. I was worried that you were totally going to put it down. A change of pace can be a good thing!!!!

Good to hear man! I've had a forced withdraw from guitar before I think it made me a better listener and a better player.

Let me bit of a contrarian here.

Lots of things in life are like this. Work, sports, art, etc. My experience has been that the people who are successful are the ones that hit the wall, take a deep breath and push through. IF you play only to enjoy it for a recreation it's cool to stop if it's not fun. On the other hand, if your desire is to become really good you just keep pushing on through the off times. If you do you'll improve and get great satisfaction in what you've accomplished. Great players make it look so easy. Thats because they struggled and worked and sweated to get there.

I've never met a single guitar player of merit who hasn't been where you are now, and every one of them sucked it up and pushed onward.

Music is great in that you have both a technical side and an artistic side to deal with. When the muse runs away, work on technique. Grab that Ian Moore CD and learn all those hooks note-for-note. Go to open G tuning and channel some Keef. Work on you slide. Grab the stealth slide and work that into your playing. It's all fun and it's all very challenging.

The best way I know of to beat the music blues is simple and something I live by: Never pick up a guitar unless you have a clear goal in mind. "Today I'm going to stack 5ths. Today I'm working on unusual time signatures. Today I'm practicing getting my bends pitch-prefect. Today I'm practicing getting my vibrato in time with the music. Today I'm going to dial in a different sound and make it work."

Whenever possible, don't play out of context. Work to a jam track or play along with a recording. It's as much or more about listening than playing!

See, and we're only beginning to scratch the surface.

Then, when the mood hits you, record that new song in your head. Nice thing about writing is you can do it anywhere. In the shower, at work, driving.

Sooner or later, you'll find that magic sweet spot where artist and the technician meld. Things that once seemed impossible will almost seem to be in slow-motion. It...flows, you no longer worry about what just happened or what's coming next, you just live in the moment. It's zen and it's cosmic and it's addictive.

Like a Shaolin monk, seemingly effortless execution of art is the result of tireless study and practice.

The most aptly named pop group of all times was Blood, Sweat and Tears.

So that's a lot but it boils down to this: If your goal to to own few guitars and play them for fun it's OK to shelve the music for a while. Nothing wrong with that and it puts you in the vast majority, i.e., you're normal. On the other hand if your goal is to become a good guitar player then in the words of Ringo Starr, "It don't come easy."

OA, I appreciate your thoughts on the subject, and I agree with you about a lot of it. You really make me think, and I think some of your advice is good.

But "suck it up" presses some buttons with me. As I have said before, I suffer from depression and anxiety, and for the first 10 years of a deep, life altering bout of the illness, plenty of people told me to suck it up. I tried to do so and just kept getting sicker. Finally, by the early 90s, meds came along that helped me to function somewhat normally. The meds don't work forever, and over the last 25 five years or so, I've had some fairly dire bouts, the latest being last year. My doc tried out new medicines, and it took me from December to late April before I was back on my feet again. I had to take sick leave during the spring semester--fortunately, I had enough sick days built up that I could do so without losing income. But even now, I'm struggling with finding pleasure in things that I formerly loved doing. So it's not that I'm frustrated with not getting to be a better player as much as it is a frustration with enjoying anything. It's not something that I can just "suck up." People who suffer from depression hear "suck it up" a lot by people who don't understand the illness.

Now, I take it that you just didn't understand what was behind my lack of pleasure in playing and the anxiety playing was giving me. People who suffer from anxiety have a hard time separating attacks and the things they were doing when they had them, so approaching the guitar was just adding to my anxiety, and a break was what I needed. It's also what keeps me from spending the kind of time it takes to be a better player. Playing just for pleasure is the best I can hope to do, for right now anyway.

If its not fun take a break........if it becomes fun again--- then great--- if not--- after a time away--if you are not WANTING to play then its a sign its time for a total change.

Other hobbies exist ---other pleasures ABOUND .......

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Originally Posted by Volumeknob

If its not fun take a break........if it becomes fun again--- then great--- if not--- after a time away--if you are not WANTING to play then its a sign its time for a total change.

Other hobbies exist ---other pleasures ABOUND .......

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I've been reading a lot. A lit guy, I've always read a lot, but now, it's in overdrive.

But I really enjoyed playing my Martin yesterday, at least for an hour. I'm just not forcing it at this point. I love guitars, and I'm proud of what I can do musically. I just need to feel better before I can reach my full potential, or at least before I get back on the quest to be a better player.

Read the rock on brother.

Willie, I live with someone who has battled depression for decades and I'm not completely unaware of the situation.

I'm going to say this: Depression and anxiety is something you have, it's not who you are. It will affect your life, but it shouldn't define your life or who you are. By suck it up I don't mean in the drill sergeant calling you "Cupcake" way. I mean, "You know what, I don't want to do this right now but I'm going to anyway because it's the right thing to do."

Others experience may vary, but I've seen too many times when someone who deals with a mental health issue starts to use it as a crutch. It becomes a very, very handy and easy excuse to get out of doing anything. And it can be insidious and they don't even know it's happening.

I'm no medical professional, but I do know that someone close to me has told me that they really appreciated me not giving up on them and keeping them motivated during the dark times.

Meds - I have my opinion but I'll keep that to myself.

Enough. How about somebody starts a music or guitar-realted thread?


Chuck

You don't get it, Chuck, but that's okay. And you don't have to look at this thread if you don't want to--it's not like it prevents anyone from posting a different thread. I thank everyone for taking the time to respond. I won't be updating my ordeal here any longer. I'm not pouting, just don't want to carry on and get angry. There's enough awful stuff happening in the world without my creating tension here.

I don't see a reason why there should be any tension in this thread.

In a sum, just try to get some peace of mind about music, Willie. There's nothing wrong with taking a break, and picking up the guitar again. Most of the times we come back playing even better, due to having relaxed and having a chilled mood about the playing.

You write music as well, and the time you spend thinking and doing other stuff might even refresh your ideas and make you come up with new songs.

Anyway, I know what depression is all about too. And it's not an easy illness to deal with. BUt like Chuck said (I really liked the line) depression is something you have, it's not who you are.

Don't forget that you are an awesome fellow, and you will be fine.

P.S. I'd appreciate some more pics of that Martin of yours. It makes me awfully jealous (in a good way).

Thanks, Sergio!