Nice, chucko. Those are shaping up. I like how that 3rd verse starts in "The Others." :yay (or whatever it's called)
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Nice, chucko. Those are shaping up. I like how that 3rd verse starts in "The Others." :yay (or whatever it's called)
"Something Comes Over Me"
Have you ever left something behind
That follows you everywhere?
Do you ever find that you sense a presence
When there's nobody there?
The first time I heard her voice
She stole a piece of me
That sad, sad, sad, sad song
Bittersweet, reverie
(CHORUS)
Something comes over me
Something so fine
Something comes over me
Something divine
Only a fool would think that kind of feeling
Could come along twice
I guess I'm guilty of being that kind of fool
"And I'll be guilty all the rest of my life"
(BRIDGE)
And I guess I'm haunted by that refrain
It seems to ring so true
Takes me right back to that night
To that bar, that table, that voice, that girl
And all the things that I didn't do
(CHORUS)
And something comes over me
Something so fine
Something comes over me
Something divine...
"Something Comes Over Me" Bill Knell c2006
.................................................. ...........................
The 3rd verse quotes Randy Newman's, "Guilty," which the lady who inspired this sang at an open mic one night, and blew my mind. Soon, I was sitting in with her. We made a helluva team- playing, singing, every damn thing we did.
But, fresh out of a major break-up, I told myself it wasn't a good time to get serious.:da
As much as I like music, and the mystery of putting a song together, I can't help but think this is the booby prize, in comparison.
Looking back, my advice to young pickers and lovers- if you truly feel it, it's the right time.
Wow! NeoBaby, I wuz just ready to comment on I loved:
"Half awake and half asleep
Naked as the starless sky
And twice as dark
Twice as blue..."
When you laid that on us. Double Wow! :bug
but DO be prepared to suffer these damnable consequences.Quote:
Looking back, my advice to young pickers and lovers- if you truly feel it, it's the right time.
"I found myself in trouble, baby..."
Hey, chuckobunny: You got it now.
Very nice.
nice one bill! it reminds me of my dreams i've been having lately. there has been a lot of my past showing up. cool song. :yay
This dark, cold, gloomy, drizzling winter- longer than the veritable 40 days and 40 nights, by far- has found me writing some sad dark tunes.
Maybe it's therapy.
Maybe it's just a mood.
Maybe it's only circumstances.
Maybe it's all that, and more...Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie D.
Makes it almost seem, to the casual onlooker, like this wouldn't be very enjoyable. :hmm
I just let it tug in whichever direction seems to spell something out.
BTW-This one's very much in the style of "Poverty" by the Subdudes.
Kind of a ruralized, "My Girl" groove.
Thanks, you two.:yay
My latest idea is a real cheery:D one, under the working title- "The Ender." :lol :blbros
the only lyrics I ever wrote that I like and that I finished
Cloudburst
Darkened clouds
circling above
a million points of dancing light
showing off their love
and as the first bolt of lightning strikes
the thunder rolls deep within
and as the day gives way to night
the storm begins
[chorus]
and its a cloudburst in my mind
nowhere to run and hide
memories from long ago
are tearing up the tide
it's a cloudburst now
better run inside
the river has begun to rise
the lake's crossed the damn
in the middle of it all
sits a single man
and as the rain pours from the sky
the man now bows his head
pained from thoughts of deeds he'd done
and the words he said
and as the night gives way to dawn
the storm is gone
[chorus]
this one appeared on a compliation CD me and my old band were working on....it is the only song I have copywritten, and whenever I attempt recording songs, it is the first one I break out.
I wrote it while watching a thunderstorm....the second verse (the river rising verse) literally came to me in a dream
guitars247- I like it. Very evocative.
Just as an experiment, try rewriting it. Not neccesarily to change it. I think it's cool as is. But just start writing the lyrics. You can make changes if you like. But see if the act of physically writing and thinking the lyrics while you do it sends your imagination off anywhere.
Lately, I've been going at it that way. Even if it's just to clean up a draft. Things start off as scribble, get more ledgible and eventually seem to say something. It's kind of like practicing the guitar. It builds toward something you'll want to hear.
Or it's like a trick I play on myself. I'l write, write, write, and maybe most of it won't fit with the current lyric. But it might trigger or show up in the next one.
That lyric's too cool not to try and cook up something else.
i like it too, i have a song sort of like that.
"the storm is coming, the waves are forming, and the water's coming up over the side of the boat" it goes on about being on a boat and the loneliness and solitude of the sea. all figurative though.
neofauve, you seem to write like i do. i have binders full of stuff that will never see the light of day. i do however go back thru them and see if the thoughts or sentiments spark anything. or if i need a line somewhere i'll see if something fits out of the "leftover" pile.
chucko- I never used to do it like this. Never had (or succeeded at making) the time to be consistently putting the pencil-time in.
guitars247- in "Cloudburst," I really like how it's plenty clear what's literally happening, yet it's still open to any listener's more symbolic take, if they're inclined to hear it another way.
Nature and weather offer lots of possibilities.:yay
Now that chuck mentions it, I can see some similarities in one I posted above too, or a page or so back, "C'est La Vie."
i've always written, whether it was stories, poems, or whatever. it's just natural to me to write stuff down as it comes. if i don't it'll be lost.
I used to hear all these critics and reviewers talk about "the use of nature" in this person's literature/poetry/songs, etc....for symbolisms, etc....I would read what all these people said about interpreting what songwriters meant with their songs, and I thought it was crap
till I wrote this song
I definitely left it open to interpretation as far as symbolism, etc.....
i read an interview of billy corgan one time where he was asked about what he thought about people's interpretations of his songs. he basically said that he didn't care because he knew what the song meant to him and that's all that matters. he didn't want to explain it to people and thought they should think of the song what they will, he has no control over it so it wouldn't sweat it.
i feel the same way about my stuff, and songs in general. the artist knows what he/she is trying to express. if you get it cool, if not that's cool too.
it seems to me that people's connection to the song is going to vary. and that is the spice of life.
I only feel like I have limited control over what I might be writing about in the first place.
I'll hear something in my head, or some line will get my attention.
I work all around that first bit. Eventually the stuff that's appealing or that works will hang together, and it starts to form whatever it's "about."
The surprise of what I find as I do it is half the fun, for me.
I haven'y purposely written, from word one, "about" something since my last LIT or composition class.
The reason that worked then was that someone told me what to write about and when it had to be done. :lol
A big step forward for me in writing today.
I produce very easily, often inspired by a picture, a memory, a phrase from a poem or song... like the "Remembrance," all I need is a bite of a madeline and a pile of stuff comes rushing out. My biggest problem is it always happens when I'm doing something else.
Today, I had one of those flash rushes, where the structure and all the main ideas for a potentially good song flooded my head while I was editing live interviews for a series of radio spots. So, guess what?
I stopped what I was doing for 10 minutes and wrote it all down. While I did, a cool chordal thing occurred to me, and so I closed the file I was working on, opened a new one, and recorded two minutes of a potential piano part that goes with it.
No more than a standard corporate coffee break, and something cool in the can. Man, I just gotta learn to do that more often.
A question about rhyme. I always was told to avoid trite rhymes - you know, "moon/June/spoon", etc. I once read a songwriting book by John Fogerty that really hammered on this point.
But recently I've been thinking that it's ok to use simplistic rhymes - *if* the rest of the lyrics are clever. This really hit me when listening to some songs by Jonathan Coulton, especially this one:
Chiron Beta Prime
He rhymes year/cheer, Prime/mine, and eyes/tries. (And I think he may have run out of rhymes in the last verse!) But each individual line is pretty cleverly written, I think. So for me, it really works, and probably eases the songwriting chore of having to think up unusual rhymes.
Your thoughts?
I like it a lot. Very clever songwriting, although the brit-pop progression is just a hair too off-the-shelf.
Here's an awesome line from Donald Fagen with a similar sci-fi spin:
"We reach the Sprangle just at dawn;
These little streets I used to know.
Is that my father mowin' the lawn?
Come on, daddy... get in, let's go."
A huge picture gets drawn out in four simple lines, and when the chick singers pick up the last line, transforming Fagen's ghostly vision of his father into an R&B chant, it's totally awesome. It rhymes "know" and "go." I mean... so what? It's the content, the poetical rhythm, the resonance with the listener's personal collection of cultural references, not the rhyme.
The problem with those trite rhymes is that they've been used in a million trite songs. If Elvis Costello rhymed "moon" and "spoon," you'd never even notice, because you can bet the rhyme wouldn't be used in a sappy love song that substituted easy rhymes for smart thinking.
Yep, I think that's it. Guilt by association, I guess.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravity Jim
Coulton definitely does wear his influences on his sleeve (TMBG, Fountains of Wayne, etc.), but I think you'd like his stuff, Jim. A lot of these songs are part of his "Thing a Week" experiment, which is a song posted to his weblog every Friday, so some are a bit derivative, but I've been enjoying them.
He may rhyme "eyes" with "tries," but he also wrote,
"And the rocks outside the airlock exude ammonia-scented snow. It’s like a Winter wonderland."
I have to remember to sing this by the nnatural gas yule log this year!
I like how he used fairly stock parts to build something kind of subversive. "Did I say overlords?" :laughing:
One at a time, words are pretty inert. The ones that happen to rhyme at the end of a line just help give the whole thing form. If what's going on around the rhymes does nothing but keep time, the snazziest rhyme probably won't mean jack.
Take this for example:
"You are my fire
The one desire
Believe when I say
I want it that way"
???? :bonk
Actually, that's not an example of snazzy rhyme. It's just 4 last syllable fending for themselves in the land of airbrushed puberty.
A song you're liable to hear anywhere...
Man, that fire/desire couplet really makes my skin crawl.
NeoFauve, I dig the line that uses the "easy" rhyme even better: "Not everybody's good, but everybody tries." Now, there's a word of truth wrapped up as the punchline to a sweet little joke.
But that Backstreet thing... gack. *choke* "Does nothing but keep time:" Exactamundo.
So, as an exercise, let's all write two lines rhyming "fire" and "desire" that might have come from an interesting song. I'll go work on my couplet....
That song is packed. I have to explore his other stuff.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravity Jim
Thanks for hipping me to that guy, Jesse. (dear departed "thumbs-up smilie here.)
Jim- I think the thing about that Backside Boys rhyme that really stokes my "ire," (get it? :applaudit ) is that both words are potentially, really juicy.
Maybe the key is simply reversing the sequence. ?? :bonk
"You say you don't love me, girl you can't hide your desire
'Cause when we kiss, Fire" -FIRE by Bruce Springsteen
"Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone
I got a bad desire
I'm on fire" - I'M ON FIRE by Bruce Springsteen
The accelerant, in these examples- the "desired" female, drenches the kindling of basic male lust.
Apply friction, and POOF!!! "Fire!!" :SaiyanSmi :laughing:
The words are ridiculously similar, but one's playful, summer night fun, the other's dealing in darker stuff.
i finally got a new song up on my myspace account, you can listen to it here http://www.myspace.com/the5percenters it should load first, and if you want listen to the other songs. i will note (being really honest here) i was a little too drunk to be singing...and it was recorded at about 2 am with some of my friends who attended an open house at the recording studio i'm working at. not a great take, but it gets the point of across, and i was tired of the other songs.
hope you guys enjoy!
That sounds fine, Chuck. :band
Great recording and story line :appl: :appl:
Very nice Chucko. :applaudit
I haven't written in quite a few years but want to get back into it.
A few weeks back a fellow musician of some notoriety in San Diego died suddenly so I decided to write a tribute tune. I tried to make it sound like I remember his old band "The Beat Farmers" sounding and tried for some of his attitude in the theme. Tributes can get so "lame" sometimes...
I hope this one hit the right notes...
www.ewilkins.com/music/blue.mp3
Your voice kinda' reminds me of Alejandro Escovedo, the grind and mood of the songs too.
Cool chucko.
That's weird... I just did a show on Friday (cinco de Mayo) with his brother Mario Escovedo. Small world.
Good Job Wilko :party:
Spooky :wah:Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilko
But I was responding to chucko's tunes.:D
Nice job on yours too. Nice playing!! The grittiness makes a fine tribute.
The melody and the cadence of the lyrics have an early Los Lobos feel- which is good thing, in my book. :headbange
Still spooky, Mario and I played some Los Lobos tunes... :headbange
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilko
:stan: Now you're starting to freak me out.
And damn, there sure are plenty of musical Escovedos.
...they are musical people. ;)
wilko, diggin it man! i had wait til today to listen to it. :bluesbros
my mom finally brought me some stuff from her trip to Austin, Alejandro Escovedo was on the cover of a "Austin Music" magazine she picked up from Ray Henning's Heart of Texas store.....I laughed when I saw the cover and there he was.....
an update on the songwriting
Going back and finishing a bunch of songs i had never completed, I put the finishing touches on about 20 songs in the last few days....also, have written 4 new ones, one completely new, 3 already had music but I finally put words to them.
The creative output has been getting better each time......check out the chorus from my most recent accomplishment:
Feel the air
It's colder now
Here's the chill
I've got to fight somehow
I'm going under
Is it all in my mind
One thing's for sure
I'm giving up this time.
Hope to have some .mp3's of the new stuff on soundclick soon.....
I think this latest creative boost has been spurred on by a re-listen to the Beatles catalog. I have been going back through stuff from Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt Peppers, Magical Mystery, etc.....and it has kicked in this whole new songwriting spurt for me. The Beatles always do that, after listening to "Day in the Life", "I'm Only Sleeping", and "Girl" and songs like that I can't help but start cranking out new material.
cool beans 247!
here is a new one i wrote the othe day on my buddy's magic guitar
how much longer must we make the same mistakes?
playing games with eachother, trying to save face
we're not so different, we guard eachother's hearts
it's hard to be pushed away, then torn apart
the birds pecked out the eyes of a cat that's not yet dead
he laid dying in the drive, til i put a bullet thru his head
i wait for the pictures, you promised to send
the sun's going down now, will it rise again?
(bridge)
you're trying to paint a picture of virtue
but the lines are starting to blur
and that's who you always were
untrue
a cool wind blows thru the scree, i still have you on my mind
i wait here on the porch, all i have is time
we're not so different, we guard eachother's hearts
it's harder to be pushed away, then torn apart
Where's the damn thumbs-up smilie when you need him? (:yay)
Very cool stuff, guys. :appl:
new one I am working on now, all I need is a damn chorus and it is done, but I am struggling with the chorus
Hey baby
I know what you're thinking
But this shame in my eyes
Has nothing to do with you
Hey baby
Better start believin'
Cause I'm not the only one
With better things to do
(insert chorus here)
Hey baby
I heard you heart is sinking
Cause that ivory tower you're on
Has crumbled to the ground
Hey baby
I know you think you're appealing
But that hole you've dug yourself
Just keeps going down
I havent really devoted much time to a chorus, mind you, but damnit, why can't it just pop in my head and be done with it :)
i know exactly how you feel. i have the hardest time coming up with choruses (or is it chorusi, chori?)Quote:
Originally Posted by guitars247
Been looking through my old lyrics with the music long forgotten. That's fine, since I think my musicianship is a little better now anyway. Tell me what you think. It's a little acoustic ditty, sort of a country ballad:
Don't you cry
Because you know
I'll always be there
And don't you shy away
'cause you know you have something deep inside
you shouldn't hide away
I thought you should know
I know I don't show it everytime
but just remember
I'm always yours
Even if you don't want to be mine
Dry your eyes my dear
Because you know
I'll always be there
Don't you slide away
Because you know
I'm hard to sway
So when you say goodbye
remember,
it's not because I wanted this to end
And those tears
you wipe away my dear
are mine, or didn't you know?
I know I don't show it everytime
but just remember
I'm always yours
Even if you don't want to be mine
I know I don't show it everytime
but just remember
I'm always yours
Even if you don't want to be mine
here a while back I posted the lyrics to my song cloudburst.....thanks btw to all for the kind comments.....here is a demo of the song
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/song...songID=4060675
comments, criticism, and what not are welcome....
this is one i wrote awhile ago and forgot about til today when i found it flipping thru my notebook.
a picture of virtue (what i'm calling it for now)
how much longer, must we make the same mistakes?
playing games for eachother, trying to save face
we're not so different, we guard eachothers' hearts
it's harder to be pushed away, than torn apart
the birds pecked out the eyes of a cat, that's not yet dead
he lied dying in my drive, til i put a bullet in his head
i wait for the pictures, you promised to send
the sun's going down now, will it rise again?
you're trying to paint a picture of virtue
but the colors are starting to blur
and that's who you always were
untrue
a cool wind blows thru the screen, and i still have you on my mind
i wait here on the porch, cause all i have is time
we're not so different, we guard eachother's hearts
it's harder to be pushed away, than torn apart
man, that's bleak, chuck.
I dug this out of a drawer this morning. It sounds like an Randy Newman song.
I would have loved knowing S.J. Perelman
I could have talked to him all night long
Sipping old Scotch
Sitting on the patio
He'd tell me a story and I'd sing him a song
I'd have a crush on Dorothy Parker
Sneaking out for lunch at the Algonquin Hotel
I would have loved hanging out with Perelman...
Boy, that woulda been swell.
i love newman!
dig those lyrics buddy.
I've read this a few times now, chucko.Quote:
Originally Posted by chuckocaster
Yeah, it's bleak, but damn... this is really good.
I don't know what you have in mind for a melody, but in the chorus, I might be inclined to leave "untrue" out.
"you're trying to paint a picture of virtue
but the colors are starting to blur
and that's who you always were
untrue"
You may really need it to nail things together, meterwise, in the melody.
With the "trying" and "blur-ring," and even going back to the "pushed away" you're describing a gradual decay, things aren't quite what they once seemed.
To me, that's where the power of it is.
"Untrue" seems too definitive.
Again, I'm just sitting here like a dumbass, reading the lyrics. "Untrue" might be the exact right move once the song is a aural thing.
But I dig it.
It really crept up and grew on me with repeated readings.
thanks neo,
what i'm starting to figure out is that i need to post recordings with my lyrics. i've been told that the way i sing and put words together is "off" from the norm, or what others would do.
i get what you're saying about the "untrue" being out of place. and i think you hit upon what i was going for. i wrote that song about someone i had a relationship with, hoping it was going to turn out, it not, us still being cival enough to be cival to eachother, but me now realizing that is was going to be bad from the beginning, even though we knew eachother (going into the relationship) pretty well.
here is a new one for you all. i'm finding myself turning more and more into "the boss", and that's weird for me. nothing against the guy, i respect him a lot, but i don't much care for his music. the lyrics might not convey this turn, but whenever i play my newer songs they remind me of him
knock down, drag out (working title)
i put myself down long ago
it was easier than trying to let go
and you, you're the same
you'd rather act the fool, than play their game
that's you, and that's me
we live outside of society
cause it's hard, to make ammends
for what you believe, and who's your friend
and they will never understand what we're about
they just want to drag us down, and put us out
that night i could tell by the look in your eyes
you were gonna do something crazy, and not apologize
it's been hard to fight this war
to wait this long, and still be strong
but you, you comprehend
the difference between mice and men
and that's why, we act this way
we don't pull any punches with what we say
and they will never understand what we're about
they just want to drag us down, and put us out
(bridge)
being right never got anybody nowhere
looking down on those who frown
will just make you remember the ones who got you there
say what you might, but we will never get what we're looking for
i am too strong to turn myself into a whore
where does that leave us? what are we to do?
we mostly stand around, and stare at our shoes
cause it's easier to write things off
than to kill 'em where they stand, and breathe the dust
we will never follow suite
we load our guns, but will not shoot
cause blood is hard to clean
and the message they will never glean
i think all the songs i write are bleak. but then again, it seems real bleak out here to me.
Heres my song i wrote today. Its Called "LAtina Katrina". Thats all I have , a title-I couldnt think of any lyrics. I dont want to use "Blew me away", thats been done.I dont wanna use latrin-a either. Someone can have this, its not copyrighted. How bout ...."my Latina Katrina,she tossed me around , i tried to avoid her, head for higher ground, ....dark black hair and light green eyes, like a ray of sun through dark and stormy skies , Latina Katrina, dont you leave me stranded ,clawing for survival when your rain clouds have disbanded...some sh#T like that.
http://www.jeffreypepperrodgers.com/songwriting.htm
I've been cleaning out the book shelf lately, tossing lots of magazines.
I found this article about "Editing Your Songs."
Some good advice.
Thought it might be of use to some of us.
:salud:
I didn't know this thread was around. Thanks for dredging it up. I've been a fountain for the last year, with song after song just pouring out. I think I've written like 16 since this past February. Here's one of my favorites. I wrote this sitting at the bar at Hooter's in Memphis, TN. :-) Just 2 chords: A7 and D9. It's got a half-time beat that just sorta grooves. It's also a crowd favorite.
Just My Luck © 2006 Big Dreams Productions
My life is not my own
To do with as I please
Fate has got the cruelest jokes
She likes to play on me
I've dreamed of you a thousand times
Before the day we met
Now my dreams, they haunt my waking hours
Too many things left unsaid
I don't know, but I've been told
If you ever slow down you die
But running after you is something I can't do
Girl, you're making me lose my mind
I want to hold you all night long
Want to feel you in my arms
Wake up in the morning light
Get lost inside your charms
Don't know how much longer I can
Hold on to this dream
Every time I think about it, girl
It makes me want to scream
I need a hint from you
Can't you see I need a sign
I'm tired of all this run-around
Tired of you being so unkind
So, baby, give us just one chance
You've got to find a way
Do you ever think about me
I think of you both night and day
Baby, just one kiss from you could
Turn my life around
Call me up
Whenever you're feeling down
Nobody is doing any songwriting? Hmmmmmm....let's get this thread back up and running again....
Here is one I wrote recently. Fire away with suggetions, comments, critiques, etc......
I Stand Alone
Copyright 2008 Loyd Van Horn
I don't know where I'm going,
but I'm sure I will.
Living on the breeze is part of the thrill.
Took too long to come down from the hill,
but I'm here.
Taking over the reins shouldn't be hard to do.
But life has a way of running from you.
Next thing you know you've been thrown into,
the fire.
Now I stand alone
Sowing these seeds I've sown.
Don't look away now.
I stand alone
Sowing these seeds I've sown.
Don't fall too far now.
Cause I stand alone.
I won't apologize for this light in my eyes
Don't ask for my patience so I won't have to lie
Long ago the world was yours and mine,
Now it's gone.
Too many words seem to be slipping away
We both know I shouldn't say them anyway.
The cold always seems to come when the day,
turns to night.
(repeat chorus)
All the walls that surround you seem too high to climb
Still you wonder what's on the other side
Try as I might I can't help you to find,
your way.
When the people you rely on have said their goodbyes
And you can't bring them back no matter how hard you try
What will you say when you don't know why,
I'm still there.
(repeat chorus)
Hope to have the demo online soon. More to come, I have had a creative explosion since August.
And another.......
I Don't Know
Copyright © 2008 Loyd Van Horn
Walking through the crowd with all intentions
Of blowing away your mind
Looking for my redemption
Looking to make the time
But I don't know
Yeah I don't know
Saying the words I've wanted
Open my windows wide
Looks like the tables are turning
Looks like the time is right
But I don't know
Yeah I don't know
[chorus]
I just don't know
What to say
It wouldn't matter anyway
Cause I don't know how I feel
I just hope this moment is real
But I don't know
Yeah I don't know
Walking on the edge of all that's certain
And trying hard not to fall
Running from all that's a burden
And running straight into the wall
But I don't know
Yeah I don't know
Maybe this time can be different
Maybe I've figured it out
Maybe I'll get what I've wanted
Maybe tomorrow is now
But I don't know
Yeah I don't know
Repeat chorus
Alright, this is something I have been struggling with for....well.....ever since I began writing songs.
The two I posted above represent the only two instances in the last 30 songs I have written of a complete and done song. The rest.....
- Have no chorus. Not that every song has to have a chorus, but surely one or two in your catalog should.....
- Have a verse or two and that's about it.....
- Have no lyrics at all, just music (either just chords and an arrangement, a guitar line/melody).
I keep everything in a nice little black book so that I can combine songs, re-write, add to, what have you.
Is there ever a time when you just move on when it comes to a song? Do you go back to it? Or are you fortunate enough to have it all laid out in front of you and you just act as a songwriting conduit.
I have had a few of those moments. Not many, but a few. Those are pretty cool......
keep a shoe box full of stuff like that dude...periodically i go through it just to refresh my memory...usually nothing comes of it and i let it percolate a while longer, then outta the blue something'll jump outta my subconscious and voila! so be a pack rat's all i'm really saying.
come to think of it, that seems to be my primary writing technique...the three newest songs on my soundclick are perfect examples...they were all song fragments that had been floating around, in some case for years, 'till some divine spark triggered them into completion.
it can be fun to take what was a song you were unhappy with and turn it into one you like.
I have songs where the verse started with one song, the chorus was from another and the melody line and chords were from something else.
I call it the Franken-song style of songwriting.....
I gave you my heart (and you handed me my ass)
this hangover's dedicated to the one who broke my heart
made me see the lies i told myself right from the start
what i fool i was for thinkin' that i ever had a chance
i gave you my heart and you handed me my ass
three times i tried to give you what wasn't mine to share
three times you gave it back to me, i guess you just don't care
what a fool i was for thinkin' i ever had a chance
i gave you my heart and you handed me my ass
bridge: i found out the hard way some heartaches never heal
but at the bottom of a bottle they don't seem so ****ing real
thank you dear for showing me i never stood a chance
i gave you my heart and you handed me my ass
lead
repeat bridge
*Stands up* Hi, I'm Power_13, and I have a problem. :D
The best example of this is probably from tonight. I was watching this BBC show where this guy is travelling around the Philippines. In Manila, one of the big cities, they have a cemetery where people live - they literally live in the big tombs of the rich families. Poorer people are sealed in these tiny vault-type things in a wall, and their families have to pay something like five dollars a year to keep them there. If they miss a payment, the bones are removed and the place is made available for someone else.
I got that funny giddy feeling where you've just stumbled upon The Best Song Idea Ever. Now I'm sat with an idea for a chorus (more of the ending of a verse) and a first verse that (1) needs a bit of work and (2) I'm sure is ripping off the melody from another song. Bugger.
And this is the most I've written in a long line of weekends.
(edit)
Getting a bit better...worked out the chords for the chorusy bit. At least now I can fit some sort of verse structure there and maybe get ideas off that. :D
Let's hear some of it!Quote:
Originally Posted by Power_13
There is something darkly fascinating about people living in a tomb....and your family still having to pay rent for your bones even after you are dead and gone....sounds like a blues song in there somewhere.
I can hear George Thorogood now.....
"Undertaker asked my son. He said "Son, where's yo daddy's rent"
in a similar vein, it's an historical fact that jack mccall, the assasin of wild bill hickock, was buried with the noose still around his neck...always thought there was a country song in there somewhere.
All I've got so far is the ends of the verses:Quote:
Originally Posted by guitars247
There between the tombs and rows of stones
In the city of the dead we made our home
With variations in the words depending on the verse. At the moment it seems like it's going to be about two brothers who leave the rice terraces in north Luzon and head to the capital Manila, one gets sick and dies, the other can't afford to keep the body in one of the "vaults". He ends up alone and far from anyone he knows.
Working on the verses, but not much there yet. Will update once I get somewhere. :D
I take inspriation and guidance in whatever form it takes and from whatever source it might come from.
I saw these nuggets the other night, and couldn't help but think they'd be of use here.
Struggling with that initial spark of inspiration, and the frustration you may encounter.
and
Connecting sound with feeling, place, etc: what does what you're playing evoke?