Auditions have changed and not for better

I've been playing since I got my first guitar in June 1963. By late 1964, my buddies and I were trying to put together a band. And I joined others quickly and started getting gigs. Not just talent shows, but parents hiring us (money!) to play at daughter's birthday parties, and the occasional school dance. By July 1965 I was on stage with a band who made a couple records and were on TV.

Auditions were fun, if nerve wracking. No one hade tapes or CDs, and this was decades before internet. You'd go in, chat while you set up. Someone would tell you songs they did, maybe ask what songs you liked and knew. Keys would be discussed, maybe they had a chord chart, or you'd pull out paper or a notebook and write down their changes.

You'd play. Tempos would get wonky, chord changes would be missed. How quickly you got up to speed might make a difference in whether they liked you or rejected you. It would be rare... extremely rare... that they'd insult you, even if you were terrible, or did not have a tenth the experience they needed. Even if you were awful, they might say nice things, or at least encouraging things. Maybe you'd never hear from them even if someone said "We'll let you know."

And no matter what, you learned something good. You might learn you are better than they are. You might learn a new song. You might learn how good or how bad a drummer they had. You might learn a new technique.

Over the past half century, I have auditioned many, many times, and I have held auditions nearly as much. Adding a guitar, a keyboard, a sax or horn, hearing a singer. Finding a drummer. I never imagined it would be reasonable to make the person auditioning uncomfortable, or insulting them.

But over the last few years, I have yet to go on an audition where someone didn't treat me like crap.

Dobro player looking for guitarist/bassist to accompany him. He wants to play rock and roll on a dobro. No drums, just a duet with either bass or guitar depending on his whim. No sweat. "I like surf music," he says. Hey, I've been in a surf band since 1996, and played surf the first five years I was playing. "Yeah. I saw a surf concert this year at the bowling alley in West Sac. It was terrible." Oh? With the Lava Pups, the Retronauts, and the VibroCounts? "Yeah, that one. They were horrible. Way too loud, and nobody could play."

Hmm. I played guitar and bass for the VibroCounts at that gig. "Yeah, I saw you."

What was wrong with my playing? "You were all too loud." Those were the smallest amps we had, and it's difficult to play soft with a drummer. "Yeah. You shoulda not had drummers."

Then it's not surf music. "Yeah. And that one guitarist in the band that opened wasn't very good." I think that's why they opened.

"Okay, let's play Mr. Moto in its original key." Great. Bass or guitar? "Bass." I'm ready.

I'm playing in the Bel-Aires' key of Dm; he's playing in Em. I thought you said original key? "Yeah. I have to play it in Em because the dobro ain't as good in Dm." But that's not the original key. "For me it is."

He proceeds to insult me, my instruments, all keyboard players ("They can't change keys without new charts.")

He wants me to play Walk, Don't Run with him. I haven't played it in a decade. I ask for bridge chords. He laughs and says "work 'em out for yourself." Then cuts the song short when I don't hit the right ones the first time.

And insists that instead of an electric bass, or acoustic bass, or U-Bass, I need to get an upright bass, but it won't matter because he's way too good for me, 'cause he's the best dobro player in northern California. Sure he is. I am certain Rob Ickes or Norm Van Maastricht might take offense, but sure. I call Norm when I get home. He never heard of this clown, but he'd check with some younger hotshot dobro players to see what they know of him. Norm calls back. "Nobody ever heard of this guy. Did you give me his name right?"

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A "blues jam" wants to add guitarists and another bassist, so they can rotate in and out. I go without a set list. Get there, it's an apartment living room with no drummer, three guitarists, a bassist/guitarist, and me. No room for my amp (either the guitar or small bass unit), so I have to plug into the PA. "No, put your guitar back in the case, use his." pointing to the bassist. I get out my bass. Every song is classic rock, no blues. I ask for chords, she gives them to me wrong, and keeps changing her mind about how long to play each one. She wants to do Uptown Funk and shows me the bassline she wants. She's in a different key than the chords she gave. I wind up playing that guy's guitar (not my '57 Strat, but some pointy thing with a 15" radius fingerboard and fret the size of my little finger). He plays my bass (AVRI '62 Jazz Bass) and tells me how much better my bass is compared to his. I go into a nice Sly or James Brown funk rhythm on the two chords. She shuts down that song, let's try some mid-1970's pop tune. Again, will not give me the chords, then expects me to take an ad lib solo on a song I've heard once in 1974 and never played.

"I'll get back to you." Three months later, my phone rings. "Yeah. Why do I have your name and number in my cell phone?"

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Two of a dozen auditions where I was made to feel like a turd on their shoe. No one welcomed me. No one wanted to know what I had done. I was supposed to know their songs, in their keys, with their changes to the structure of the songs without sharing that information with me.

I guess I will forever be a band leader, helping musicians who audition for me.

Vibro, I'd look at it like it's a two-way street. You have to audition the people who are auditioning you. Most of the people who ask you to audition are - flakes. The reason they're looking to hire someone in the first place is generally because they suck, are complete jackasses, or a combination of the two. You've been around enough to know that his business attracts nut jobs like flies to honey. If you go to the audition and they're not professional about it just keep looking.

I haven't auditioned in a long time, but If I was today I'd ask where they're playing next and go catch their show. Ask them who does their sound and lights. If they give you sketchy answers walk away. If they have no jobs lined up, walk away. It's a project and not a band. No money in that and you're probably dealing with amateurs. You want to look for a situation where someone is leaving a working band and you're replacing them.

YMMV, but my experience is that good bands seldom have to advertise when a spot opens, so you need to make sure all the top bands know you and know you're in the market.

The motto has always been, "If you want the best band in town, get the best musicians in town." That's usually a fairly small fraternity, even in a huge city like LA, Houston or NYC.

I have to say - those are easy walkaways.

seriously - if you are around non-like-minded people........your not where you belong.

Yes, they are easy walkaways. But it still burns after loading up bass amp, two or three instruments, and the stuff I need only to find an idiot in charge. These clowns are the music world's equivalent of internet trolls. Their world grows smaller and smaller as they mock anyone who might expand their possibilities.

Want to play surf music on a dobro? Why not, Joe Weed with the Vultures did an entire album of instrumental rock by bluegrass musicians and it was enjoyed by both surf and bluegrass fans. But when you bring in a popular surf musician to help you do this, don't insult him.

I'm sorry about your experiences with those jerks. I swear, we're living in an age that has forgotten civility.

Willie nailed it.

It's not just about music or band auditions, it's all about the era we're living in.

There's no such thing as respect anymore, in general. Auditions, job interviews, court hearings, a queue in a seven eleven or drugstore... People seem to have forgotten everything about manners, respect for elders-women-children.

Most women have forgotten most of what actually made them special. Youngsters are mostly disrespectful punks. These days it's cool to be a clueless A-hole. Chivalry, respect, self respect and actual good manners are dying fast. Hell, you turn on the TV and what do you see?? You go to the next supermarket to buy a pack of beer and some food and you witness all kinds of behaviors that deserve a good right hand into the nose. But if you do react and try to make a difference, guess what: YOU are the one who will have fingers pointed at for being a reactionary, an animal, a freak.

O tempora, o mores... huh! If Cicero only knew what was coming our way.

Anyway, Vibro: like Frank said, those were easy walkaways. I hate rudeness, especially when it comes to music. I'd just put my guitar back in the case and walk away. Today I only get out of my house to play if it's with people who are already my friends, or at least acquaintances.

Well said, Sergio

Well, I'm not sure I share the same gloom and doom view of modern society. I work with some outstanding people. I see acts of charity and kindness every day. There have always been jerks and always will be.

The internet is often times nothing more than the CB radio of the new millennium, and we all know how sophisticated the CB radio craze was. Every village idiot now has a platform and they can even band together!

And that's all I'll say about that.


Back to music - Good musicians are generally in demand. If you're a known quantity in your local scene that has

1) proven ability
2) demonstrated you have the commitment it takes to be in a tight band (which is way more than most people realize)
3) have good gear
4) Reliable transportation
5) a history of being a good bandmate (aka referrals)

You'll usually never have to look for a gig. They'll find you.

Now for something as esoteric as dobro surf - yeah that might be a tough one. Finding a person who wants to do it might be a little challenging, and then even more so finding people who will pay to hear it.

But hey, even Dick Dale played trumpet in his shows - so what do I know?

See......the thing is.....
You guys are classier than I am. I have worked short term with a few bands, and sort of auditioned going in, but had all of the conversations up front. At least most of the time. I only got sideswiped a couple of times, and in those cases (two of them) I politely thanked them, but clearly said, this is just not a good fit as I was closing/packing my stuff. Early on, I had on and the guys could play but had no intention of gigging or stepping it up. I wouldn't return calls or emails. I should have been honest and said I was glad to catch up again, sit in, etc. but was not the guy for "the band".

In the here and now.....I have the luxury of running a weekly blues jam and have a pretty good set of connections. I ask people who want to meet other musicians, or want to meet, (I do this with craigslist sales too) to meet at the Jam. its a place to meet, its safe, they can try out eqpt, or players in a good environment. Or sit back and listen to them, meet, etc. THEN decide if they want to take a next step.

I know that won't work for everyone, but its a good situation to leverage.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Offshore Angler

Well, I'm not sure I share the same gloom and doom view of modern society. I work with some outstanding people. I see acts of charity and kindness every day. There have always been jerks and always will be.

The internet is often times nothing more than the CB radio of the new millennium, and we all know how sophisticated the CB radio craze was. Every village idiot now has a platform and they can even band together!

And that's all I'll say about that.


Back to music - Good musicians are generally in demand. If you're a known quantity in your local scene that has

1) proven ability
2) demonstrated you have the commitment it takes to be in a tight band (which is way more than most people realize)
3) have good gear
4) Reliable transportation
5) a history of being a good bandmate (aka referrals)

You'll usually never have to look for a gig. They'll find you.

Now for something as esoteric as dobro surf - yeah that might be a tough one. Finding a person who wants to do it might be a little challenging, and then even more so finding people who will pay to hear it.

But hey, even Dick Dale played trumpet in his shows - so what do I know?

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Of course there are still good people and good actions. My point is, being a jerk is much more tolerated nowadays.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ch willie

I'm sorry about your experiences with those jerks. I swear, we're living in an age that has forgotten civility.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sérgio

Of course there are still good people and good actions. My point is, being a jerk is much more tolerated nowadays.

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100% in agreement.

But most people I run into WILL slow down though if you can talk to them for a while. Sure, the web has catered to and created many alpha-dog types that feel the need to pee down everyones neck and boast about superiority and why you should be enjoying his relieving himself in this fashion, but I'll bet MOST of them even are fine if you can pull the electrical media off of them long enough to get two words in. I think a good portion of the problem is everybody has been jolted into this need for 1) assurance from like minded individuals 2) keeping up with the absolute latest in news and 3) catching up (and hurrying to get to) what they missed while at the paying part of their lives.

Sadly, my first retirement is nearly over. After 5 years I feel the need to go back to work. I am spending a bit of time praying I don't have to become a jerk to survive in the business climate again. I have my suspicions I should just stay retired...

Back to the original topic,

Most people advertising for positions "in a band" that you've never heard of have no clue what they're doing. Doesn't make them bad people, just inexperienced with a lot of hopes and dreams. Hopes and dreams are worth less in the music biz than a Squire Strat that's been relic'd by a fourteen year old.

You have to ask the correct questions.

What are your goals for the band?
If the answer is something like "to play out" or "gig" then you pass. If the answer is more akin to " we have jobs lined up at x,y, and z, and we'd like to get into this or that place too", that's a great sign.

How much live performance experience do you have?
This will tell you just about everything you need to know. If the answer is "lots", then you ask for specifics, Who, Where, When, etc. If the answer is little to none and the details are sketchy, bad news.

Who does your sound?
Another killer question. If the answer is well, the bass player has a PA and I have a couple mics and the guitar player has this or that - Danger Will Robinson. If the answers sound like "We use Xxx music for our bigger shows, clubs a,b & c we use the house" , or if they have their own sound you're listening for words like "Lexicon", "Crown", "JBL", "Furman" and "SM58".

Is this a start-up or do you have jobs lined up?
I guess this is really the first question you should ask.

How long have you been together?
Need I say more? Bands with proven longevity have the chemistry to work.

Where do you rehearse?
Another mighty question. If the answer is in somebody's living room you know it ain't exactly Nik Entertainment. If they have a permanent setup somewhere that's a plus. If they rent rehearsal space and tell you your portion of the rent will be $$$, that's a really good sign.

Are wives/girlfriends/boyfriends/husbands allowed at rehearsals?
"Nope", "Never", "Not while I'm in this band" and "Are you freaking serious?" are all acceptable answers. A "Yes" answer pretty much tells you who you're working with. Del Shannon the heck out of there, and fast!

If you ask these questions before you take the audition, you'll know exactly where you are. It's up to you to judge how they will fit into what you're looking for.

If you're looking for your first-ever band you may have to take what you can find, work on your chops. Go to open jams and play with really experienced players and see how well you can really play in front of a live audience. If you have the chops, the looks and the stage presence/persona somebody will notice you. You'll get in the network of musicians and then it's a matter of how hard you're willing to work at it.
Chuck